If you ever

If you ever

If you ever wake up and find yourself in your darkest hours, or find yourself full of doubt, remember, you can always come to me and I will always be here to be your light… to guide you back to the best of your days.

 

I schedule my posts

I schedule my posts

I schedule my writings weeks in advance. It is too much for one day if I write all my ideas down. So they are not current events. In case people get wrong ideas.

I find that if I am honest, I like myself more and women like me more 🙂 I can always say what I am thinking, feeling or what my mood is.

This is my situation, my circumstances, things I need to do and etc. then I give the freedom to the women to decide what they want to do. I always advise to follow your heart. If you do not, there is always a possibility you will regret it. If a girl ever regrets her decision, I may not be strong enough to save her. She may not be able to come back on her own. Our story would end up as “we could have been great or we could have been amazing.”

Besides, I find that everything is a lot different when I am ready. I can lead without hesitation at that time. Instead of “I am kind of busy and these are my circumstances so decide what you want to do”, it will be more like, “this looks very exciting, I want to do this with you, let’s go have fun.”

I hope one day

I hope one day

I hope one day there would be a guy waking up with you that has the same desire and passion as you. A guy who would kiss you out of the blue just because he wants to. Someone who would stop you from going to the bathroom to give you a tight hug, and kiss you on the cheeks before you take a shower to go to work. A guy who would tell you how amazing you are and lucky he is for you being in his life. I hope he tells you how beautiful you are even when you are just wearing a ragged 7 year old shirt and pajamas. A guy who could make you smile like you are the happiest woman on earth. If he ever bought just one bubble tea, I hope he shares it with you. When you are having a bad day, I hope he buys you pizza and listens to you complain, even if you are just complaining or talking about a korean drama or some tv show that you like. I hope he misses you when you are not together. I hope he will hug you and make you feel that he will never let go. I hope he brags about you when he talks to his friends or people he knows. I hope he listens to your dreams or plans for the future. I hope he encourages you to be someone you want. I hope he gives you wings so you can fly wherever you want or whatever destination you seek. I hope he flies there with you. A guy who would fight for you and dreams of a better future for both of you. A guy who would not mind slaying dragons for you. I hope he loves you just as much as you love him, maybe he loves you even more.

 

But that guy is just not going to be me.

 

– Random things that I think about

Ready For Testing

Ready For Testing

My new recipe is ready for testing. It is vegetables with flowing peanut sauce. It tastes good. I need guinea pigs now lol. I need to know how good or how mediocre it is. I need to know what it is lacking.

I was asking if we have camping trip on labor day or anything but seems to be nothing. Times like these, I am desperate for a girlfriend. Just for one day so she can comment on the recipe then we break up at 12 AM like Cinderella 🙂

I Miss…

I Miss…

I miss my violin. I miss playing it. Is it possible to miss an object? It seems to be. No time to practice though. August is ending and I still have so much to do.

On the good news, my body is looking good 🙂 It is improving. So that makes me happy. I want a six pack or 2 pack though. I do not believe I will get that this year. I can definitely get it in time. Some things are just more important right now. My body maybe ready for a tattoo by the end of the year. I cannot get it though till I reach my goal. I’m moving forward with everything so that is pretty good. I want it to be faster but I guess I will just practice patience.

I am yours

I am yours

I am yours. Everything about me belongs only to you. From the tips of my fingers to the palm of my hands, I am yours. To the slow, and long softness of my kiss, and to the forcefulness and thrust of my tongue, I am yours. My body is here to heat you up in the cold winter nights. To the warm summer days, my presence is here for you to enjoy. I am yours. My kindness, my jealousy, my hope, my desire, my courage, my empathy, my pride, my anger, and every emotion I have, I am yours. To the coarse voice that I have and to the gentle words that I say, they are yours. To the creativity of my mind, the perseverance of my body, and the willingness of my soul, they are yours to have. To the 3AM calls when you need a friend, to the Friday date nights, and even the silence that we share, I am yours. I cannot promise you everything, but I can promise you that I will do anything for you and I. It is because I know no other way than to love with everything, to give everything, and to be vulnerable to anything. It is the only way I know how to be with someone. It is the only way I want to be with someone.

 

– Random things I want to tell a girl someday

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be the one to hold you every day and every night. I want to be the one to cook for you every day and every night. I want to be the one to kiss you every day and every night. The only person that will look into your eyes, move forward to kiss you slowly and passionately. I want to be the first person you see in the morning and the last person you see at night. I want to be the one you tell your future with, your present, your best days, your bad days, and any days for that matter. I want to be the man you confide in with your problems, the one person that always helps you with your troubles, the guy who wants to take care of you always. I want to be the person that accepts you for your flaws but also finds them beautiful. I want to love you in any condition, any circumstance, and every way possible.

 

– Random things I want to tell a girl someday

 

Just saw this video.

Just saw this video.

Everyone seems to have a billionaire mentor except me lol. I got all 3… YEHEY!!!!!

I am still working on number 1 though. The first one is very complicated. It is not as easy or basic as it seems.

I Like This Photo

I Like This Photo

We were headed to a storm. The weather often changes at Mount Lafayette. The clouds looked eerie as we were trekking to Mount Lafayette (way before the pic). I told everyone to bring jackets so they will be prepared for the weather. Guess who is the only person who did not bring one for this hike? Me! HAHAHAHA! It rained on us as we were going down. The rain was not that cold so it was good. My right arm was freezing due to the wind though. It was pouring. By the time we arrived at the Green Leaf Hut, the storm already passed.  I took a picture (see below). I bought a lemonade in the Hut, it tasted so good. I can see other hikers going down and it was raining on them. The weather on the mountain is rain but 30 minutes going down, weather was cloudy but no rain. 1 hour down the mountain, it was clear and sunny.

 


 

Edit: I made sure everyone had a jacket in Mount Washington though before the start of the hike. We all needed it.

Done With The Pics

Done With The Pics



Link to the ALBUM.

Ok I am done with the pics. This is most likely the last New Hampshire trip unless someone requests another one. I enjoyed it a lot. I do not mind doing it again. There were great people in the trip that made it fun and memorable. Last year, I made lots of mistakes and I wanted to redeem myself in a way. I wanted to be able to organize a trip, make it very good, memorable, and amazing. I always go on trips with my friends, I always rely on them for everything including the fun aspect. I wanted to be able to do everything by myself. It is a skill I wanted to get. The trip was successful and everyone had fun. I now know I can organize trips and know the variables to make it fun, and enjoyable. It is now a skill I have, YEHEY!!!! 🙂

It was a great trip with a great sense of adventure 🙂

A walk to remember

A walk to remember

At the end of my days, if I am ever asked, which days I loved most, the answer would always be the days where I spent with you. If I was asked which days I missed the most, it would be the days I spent with you. If I was asked which days I will never forget, I would answer it would be the days I spent with you. The best days of my life are often nameless, insignificant to others, small, but they are beautiful to me since I spent it with someone that matters most in my life.

 

– Random things I want to tell a girl someday

I miss the goofy things I do when I am with someone

I miss the goofy things I do when I am with someone

I miss the goofy things I do when I am with someone. The way I would set aside her hair with my hand, touch her cheeks before I kiss her. Those cute polaroid or cell phone pictures taken out of nowhere when we both least expect it. Those nice good morning texts that brightens up your whole day. Those days where we just look at each other’s eyes, or even those moments when I grab her hand in the middle of the town. Those days where I make her smile just by being near her. Those moments of silence that feels very comfortable instead of it being awkward. The way we both tease and joke around each other.

Those moments when I look at her and she has that smile that says I am in love and happy with this guy I am with. Those are the moments I miss most, those are the moments that take my breath away.

And I am no longer migrating

And I am no longer migrating

And I am no longer migrating. This hosting provider has a bunch of plug ins that are blacklisted. One of them is essential for me. It was a deal breaker. This is a very popular and probably the biggest hosting provider. Such a shame. Such a waste of time. All that for nothing. It is all good though since I got my refund. It was a great learning experience.

Everything looks good enough

Everything looks good enough

After countless reinstalls, a couple of tech support, tech admins, everything looks good enough. Looks like I will be switching. The only problem is uploading of images. I’ll cancel 1 year from now if it I get frustrated.

So what is going on?

So what is going on?

I am so sleepy. Migration part 2 tomorrow.

Anyway, she unfriended me lol. I cannot really see what she is posting. I’m just guessing because you and other people are acting differently. I am checking right now with facebook commands and there is nothing. Nothing about me. I can only see 2, everything else is hidden. They are all for another guy. She never appeared in my newsfeed, only once when she tagged someone I know. The only thing I can check is her instagram and the latest things in there are for another guy. I don’t really want to go there or I don’t want to see what she is doing. It is like stalking. She most likely likes another guy, and not me. So whatever she is posting is most likely for someone else.

Anyway, these things do not really matter.

I am on a fence.

You are on a fence.

She was on a fence.

There are also a few girls that are attracted to me that are on a fence.

Everyone does not want to jump over that fence and take a chance.

I’m trying my best not to make the same mistakes I had with her and learn from my mistakes with all of my life as well. Whatever happened, whatever is happening, whatever will happen, if it goes wrong, it is my fault. It is never the girl’s fault or it is never the girl’s mistakes. If I was stronger, if I learned all these things when I was young, if my finances are very stable or if I have security over the future, then these things would not really happen. If I have a little of these things, my love life would not be like this. I would be dating or I would asked you out. I would be ready. Women would not back out, get scared, or be so unsure whether they should be with me. If my plans worked last year, I would be dating her instead of her unfriending me lol. If I am ready now, I would have asked you out already as well.

Tired of pushing women away also because of that fence. The only person that can take down that fence is me. Best way to take down that fence is to work. The more I work, the closer I get to taking down that fence.

I love my life a lot lately though. I am enjoying my days a lot. It is just that my goals are beyond my comfort zone. Sacrifices have to be made. Everything has to be in order. I need financial security before love. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. I cannot change the past, I cannot change my path, I can only fight in the present, and fight for the future.

 

I am actually like Jerry McGuire right now. In all honestly, I often end up with the girl in Jerry McGuire also. Here is a good clip for anyone that has not seen it. Only because she could jump the fence while being able to motivate me as well. She can go over the fence and motivate me. I am on a fence because there is a lot of work for me and being with someone often means my focus, time and everything is split. But there is always a girl who can jump over that fence and motivate me as well. So in that  way, my fence breaks down also because our partnership is congruent and beneficial to my goals.

Ok, I ranted, time to sleep lol.