I do not know if she ever loved me. I do not know if the cuddling with a warm blanket, the soft kisses, and gentle smiles ever meant anything to her. I do not know if the dinner dates, the movies, nor the walks in the parks were moments she would remember. I do not what she thought of me, or what she thinks of me now. All I know was that I was happy spending time with her, and I hope she was happy spending time with me too, even though we were not meant to be together forever.
– Random thoughts while hiking
I can feel how much she loved me with those soft lips of hers. The way she kissed was always tender and loving. Even though we were miles apart, she would always put a lot of effort to be near me. A feeling of happiness surrounded my whole body whenever I was near her. She was always so loving, always kind, and always thinking about me. A day did not go by without her telling me how happy she was that I was with her and how she never wanted to be apart from me. My body still remembers the softness of her hands and the warmth that her eyes give. Even the scent of her hair whenever I embraced her. I remember them all. They were all beautiful memories I had with her. But that was all they were. They were nothing more than beautiful memories.
It is because I said goodbye, and gave her no reason. I am happy that she now belongs to another guy. She now loves another guy. A guy that will most likely not take her for granted the way I did.
But if she is ever my girlfriend again, I promise to not let go. I would hold on to her forever. Make her happy, the way she made me happy. Give her all the love that she deserves, the way she gave all her love to me. I want to cherish her. I want to be the guy to tell her I love her. I want to be the guy that can kiss her lips again. The guy that can hold her hands, feel the warmth of her eyes looking into mine. The guy that can embrace her and get intoxicated with the scent of her hair. I will move heaven and earth if I ever get the chance to love her again. It is because I realize I still love her. I want nothing else in this world than to be able to love her again.
I kept dreaming of climbing mountains, hiking hills, diving into oceans, soaring into the sky and travelling all over the world. But beside you is where I truly belong. It is the place I call home.
– Random thoughts while hiking
I had already surrendered to my fate, being surrounded with old and decrepit people for a time period of my life. I was surprised to find her there, she was maybe 8 to 10 years younger than me. I held her gently, feeling the softness of her body from the thin dress that she wore. Her body was indescribably alluring and tantalizing, promising me treasures should I probed my curiosity deeper.
So I did without hesitation. I kissed her passionately and slowly, feeling the softness of her lips, and sweetness of her tongue. It was too late for us to stop. We were already at the edge. I kissed her neck as my hands roamed freely to her smooth legs. I can feel her body wanting me, telling me to not stop, do what I want with her, she is mine to do as I please. I kissed her more and more, wanting my lips to touch the secrets of her body that she has covered with that dress of hers that will be soon on the floor.
As my breath became heavier and heavier, all of my worries and restraints vanished before me. Underneath these civilized clothes, I am nothing more than an animal, driven purely by pleasure, by wanting another. The contact of a woman’s skin on mine, the feeling of her soft lips, the look of wanting in her eyes, are all moments of uncontrollable desire. I wanted her. I wanted her more than anything that night. I wanted her to think of only my lips on her skin, my hands holding her close, my body pressing against hers. At least on that night, I wanted her to think of only me, see only me, feel only me, touch only me, remember only me, nothing else. On that night, all of her belonged to me, her mind, body and soul. She was mine to do as I please. She gladly gave herself only for me.
It was then that I knew, she not only wanted me. She needed me.
I am so tired. I think I only need to do one more hike or trip in adirondack then that is it for hiking. I will focus on work more. Maybe I will write some stuff. I don’t have any content for the last 3 months. I only have rants lol.
I am not really into married women. You are all beautiful though. The only married girl I was interested in was this girl that I dated. But she was really hot lol. She was very strong emotionally and mentally. Strong enough that she can be alone and choose to be alone rather than married. Did I mention she was hot? Besides I love my life and my time a lot lately. I try to stay away from anything that will give me drama. I may end up hating my time.
Also I do not give signals nor codes. I do not need to play games nor test the waters. I am more straight forward or direct like this. I am a man, I am not afraid of rejection from women nor do I feel any negative emotion from their decisions. I guess I am getting old, I am getting more mature by the day.
I like this hike a lot. I want to go back here. This is in Harriman. This is my secret spot lol. Just kidding. I took a lot of people here before but if you want to get the good angles, you have to stay just for photography.
My camera needs cleaning. There are black spots and white stuff on the pictures. I have to go to Manhattan and get it cleaned for $65. It is so expensive. It is like 10% of my camera. I can just photoshop to take them off too lol.
This is a good hike. I will come back to this hike next year when it is sunny just for this spot. I was supposed to go camping but these clouds are not natural. I want some blue skies and sunshine. I had to cancel my camping or postpone it till Sunday. Hopefully, I get blue skies with some clouds on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.
I think I will have time to write, I just need to finish a couple of stuff first. Work is doing great. Everything is progressing smoothly.
I have done a lot of work. I finished a lot of stuff. I thought I could write more about spirituality. This one is about being healthy, immortality and stuff. This is what I have found to be working for me. If I find other information then I will share it. Everyone wants to be healthy and live well anyway. I thought I should post some ideas that made sense to me and what I have been doing to be healthy.
Here is my post which I called the search for immortality but it is really very basic. I have not done a lot of research on this subject.
I like this photo in Lake George. I forgot to post my Lake George pics. Here are some in google photos. I like the pictures that I got on the trip but the girls that I hiked with have better angles. I was looking at the photos and I am jealous lol. They have really good angles. Even just walking along the trail looked great. I was thinking that I wanted pics like those also. Of course, I am happy that I was the photographer that created those photos but still, I want other types of angles lol.
I need a new camera. I am saving up. I want the Canon EOS 5DS R with this Canon EF 11-24mm lens. I think I can get the camera for 2k. I need around 5,000 dollars by next year. I need to save $5,000 and I do not want to use my savings. My savings are for rainy days lol. I have to work hard and spend less also. Right now, I just need leg strength. The camera is heavy and the lens is very heavy also. I like to give my camera to other people also. Other people create new angles with their imagination, it is how I learn also. I don’t think I will tell them the price of the camera because they may not have fun with it. It is actually alright to break the camera and lens because I usually get the 4 year warranty. So if they break, they get replaced. The one thing I do not want is for them to get stolen or lost. This scenario will cost me a lot of money. But if they break, fall down, get wrecked, then it is fine.
I do need a new camera. Mine is okay but I need more sharpness or detail. If I look at the lower corners, they are blurry. The sides are very blurry. I like the Canon one that I listed. It is full frame and it has a lot of auto focus points. I want more sharpness. But right now, I just need leg strength so I will have the power to carry this type of camera in my hikes in the future. I want to be able to take pictures like this guy in instagram. I can surpass this guy. I just need a good camera and time to learn. If you look at this photo, it is very sharp, I like it.
I am studying a lot of landscape pictures in Instagram. A friend of mine is a really good professional photographer. I remember that he studies also and he shows the type of image that he is trying to create to me. I am sure after seeing those photos that he has an amazing vision of what he wants to create in his head. I have to study the same way he does also. I learned a lot from him just by watching him.
I have to setup the meetup hikes also. I will do it tomorrow. I will just process my pictures today. This is the last year for organizing hikes in the meetup for me. I only have August, September and October. So last 3 months. I think it is time to move on also. I need to focus a lot of my energy on landscape photography. I will still do solo hikes and maybe organize or post tough hikes like Devil’s Path and Adirondack next year but the weekly hikes will be no more. I will spend that time learning more about landscape photography. Some things have to end in order for new things to begin. I hope everyone that I hiked with learned something from me because I learned a lot from everyone lol. But I have to move on and I want to expand or grow more. Say goodbye and say hello to new possibilities.
Same thing with my love life, I have to move forward.
I like this song. It is kind of sad though. It is still nice. I am so busy lol. I want to date or focus more on my love life but I have to do my responsibilities first. I have to finish this part of my work, process these photos, set up the hikes, and that is it I think. I ended up having more work due to Lake George. It was fun though. Hopefully, be done somewhere next week.
This always makes me smile for some reason. I put it in my hiking facebook profile. Every time I log on, I see it and it makes me smile lol.
Follow me on instagram. Although I am not going to post pics on it till next 2 years though lol. I am just so busy. I am promoting it now though lol.
Forest after forest after forest. I did not like this hike at all. But a lot of people liked the hike. I was looking at everyone at some point and a lot of people were talking and socializing. This is good because one of the main purposes of these hikes is for people to meet others. It is good that they were having fun talking to each other because the hike had no views at all. We were just mosquito food lol. The forecast was sunny but when we were there, it was raining. I’ve been having nice sunshine all through out the weekdays. I get to hike during the weekdays so I am happy. At Saturday, it had been raining. I feel bad because a lot of people want to hike on Saturday.
I have not had any hotpot in a while like almost a year or maybe more than a year. I like rice, barbecue, meat and stuff so I hardly go to a hotpot restaurant. This hotpot was so good. It was so delicious. We were at the hotpot place for 2 hours. So everyone had been eating for 2 hours. I looked at everyone and it seems that everyone was having fun talking to each other. So it was good. I got lucky on this hotpot. I am terrible at making my own sauces. In this hotpot I randomly combined a bunch of vinegar, garlic and various condiments. My sauce turned out to be so good. There was a girl before who made hotpot sauces for me before and her sauces was better. I could not recreate those sauces. I did not want to bother calling her. Besides, I am a guy, guys have this instinct to not ask for directions when they are lost or don’t know what to do. We do it the hard way with the process of elimination or trial n error. I am still happy because my sauce was good by luck. Next time I am going to the Internet and research some good hotpot sauces and try them out lol.
Here is my post about anger.
I’m in a good mood again. This hiking stuff is making me bipolar lol. Tough hike. My legs are tired. They need rest. I think my knee got hurt.
I have lots of work anyway so it is all good.