Three years ago when I started hiking, we were doing push up contests. We did one in Breakneck 3 years ago. I tried to do clapping pushups and I failed hard lol. In this video, I was thinking of goofy and silly things to do with the tree. The pushup contest came to my mind lol. I am very light in weight also. The tree did not feel like it would break or bend at all.
Note: Don’t try this because you may get injured. It is near a cliff also.
I am going to do a couple of very hard hikes this year so I am training my legs. So glad Planet Fitness is only $10 a month. I have to spend a couple of hundred dollars on equipment. Just the hiking boots is worth $200 and the backpacking bag that I want is worth $250. Everything is so expensive. The sleeping bag is $400 but I am not going to buy that lol. Tent is $100 which is also expensive. I have some money to spare though so it is all good.
I carry 11.3 pounds of backpack weight every time I hike. I need to cut this down. The camera is very heavy. I am aiming for 25 pound backpack weight for the tent, sleeping bag, water and foods. If I can cut it down to 20 pounds, it will be great. The legs need to get better. I am so busy with work also. So many things to do and implement. My life is very busy at the moment. I have no time for anything else. I want to finish this project as soon as possible.
Here is an album about my hike yesterday. Tough hike 11 miles. I need the exercise and I need more stamina so it was a good hike. I have 3 or 4 months left to train. For some reason I have to do push ups to every interesting dead tree that I see lol.
Here is the album. Last Saturday hike. My body is aching right now. I have been hibernating too much. I could not do the last rock. I scraped my hand doing it. I am checking my body right now, I have wounds, bruises and a few black and blue spots on my body. It was a great hike though.
My life had not been easy. I was confused, puzzled, lost and unsure of where to go like a road that looms forever yet goes nowhere. At night, that road would be engulfed in pure darkness, devoid of any light, as my path becomes layered with broken glass, and sharp metals every step of the way. The wind would howl with its cold fangs burning my skin while it brought forth a foul stench of the a dead rotten animal. I felt the terror of what looms onward as I can taste its blood lust focusing on me whose main objective was to bring me more suffering. Lashes of rage as my fist would hit other people’s faces, my eyes filled with fury, and my clothes would smell of cheap cigar and vodka as my mouth would spit drops of blood by the end of the night.
I would walk this road as if I had no other choice but to move forward. The regrets, the disappointments, and the pain would be etched into my soul creating wounds, bruises and lacerations as I bleed profusely everywhere yet no one there to care nor see me at all. I was alone, tired and wounded. Yet no one could hear my screams, and no one could see how deep my cuts were. I was clinging to hope that tomorrow would be different but that hope started fading away. I thought that if only I could be better, if only I had helped, then maybe I could leave this place…. if only…
As I lie here, holding you inside my arms, reminiscing of the old, I am glad that I met you. If I had to do my life all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. If I change something differently then I may not have met you. You were worth all the pain and all the sadness that I have endured. You were the light that took the darkness away. Your kind hand brought relief to my wounds and melted my frozen heart away. I never thought I could be happy the way I am now. When I met you, it was as if a thousand years of happiness conspired and I felt all of them in one day. It was as if the universe fell in love with my soul and blanketed my life with love by giving me… you.
You made me the happiest man in the world. I want to thank you for that so I will dedicate my life making you the happiest woman on Earth as well.
I remember it all too well. It was a cold winter afternoon in December as trickles of snow fell on top of our heads. We were silent while walking down a familiar street after watching a movie. I could hear our footsteps, and yet not a word was spoken from either of our lips. I slid my hand towards hers ever so slightly until I could feel her fingertips brush against mine. I opened my hand to receive hers and interlocked our fingers. I could feel the gentle softness of her skin, and smallness of her hand compared to mine. It was warm, kind, and comfortable as if it was made perfectly just for me. But the cold was unforgiving to our skin and it would not let our hands stay that way forever. So I took her hand with mine and tuck them safely into my pocket.
She broke the silence and said, “are you planning to keep my hand forever since you put it into your pocket?”
I looked at her and grinned, “it was mine the moment I touched it.”
“Oh really?” She said while smiling.
“Yup! Don’t worry, I will take care of it. I will take care of you. Always and forever.”
She averted her gaze from mine as her cheeks began to be flushed with red.
I took my other hand and touched her chin. I lifted her head a little as I leaned forward and kissed her lips.
“Your lips are now mine also”, I said while smiling.
I bought some new weights. I think my body looks good enough to get a tattoo but I am going to continue. I may as well, I like the way my body is starting to look lol. I am going to be somewhat chubby this year because I am not going to keep losing weight and then gaining weight again. I am just going to gain weight till I reach my goal then lose weight. I am relying less and less with my physical looks to attract a girl though but it is still nice to have a good physical connection with a girl rather than emotional.
As for my tattoo, how come people hate tribal lol. I prefer the doodly lines compared to a real picture. I just want a couple of lines and not the whole picture because a whole picture is going to block some of the lines I got from my muscles hahahaha. I am still not financially independent so I do not need to hurry with the design. I am going to buy some stencil papers and sharpees to practice and see what kind of tattoo I like. Art on my body has got to be sexy.
I have a date tonight. A blind date. I am kind of excited. It is like that game show Deal or No Deal. I don’t know what kind of girl I am going to meet tonight. I may get attracted or not. Although my hair does not want to agree with me today. After 3 years of cutting my own hair, it seems I still need more practice. It is all good, I am going to practice on attracting a girl with my personality rather than looks.
As my foot eased down on the cold hard floor of my room, I looked around and there was no soul in sight as I prepare myself to go to bed. My eyes shifted around the room, my skin felt the stale air inside it while the white walls felt like they were closing in. However, on this night, I couldn’t care less. My body tired from working as I feel the ache in my muscles and bones. I turned off the lights and shadows flicker through the walls as the room was mostly engulfed in darkness. I reached my bed as I slid my hand to the surface. I felt the edge of my comforter and settled my body in. The soft warm fabric of my sheets felt good on the skin as I tucked myself to go to sleep. I closed my eyes and went to the edge between the boundary of reality and dreams where I saw her there with me. Before I knew it, a sudden surge of loneliness filled my chest and lungs. It was as if an ocean of darkness grabbed my chest and filled my lungs that I couldn’t breath; as if this darkness was slowly suffocating me.
I miss her so much.
There was a time when I would close my eyes and my lips would find her soft lips before I go to bed. It was mellow, gentle and kind with a shot of alcohol we had mixed in between. My fingers touched her cheeks gently, pulling her closer, until our bodies are glued to each other. I would become more insistent, more forceful, and my assertive hands would grab her waist, grip her neck, pull her, push her and as my fingers would be all over her body. The kiss was breathtaking, passionate, gentle and hard. Our tongues would always find a way to fall in love with each other. So in love that our eyes would not open. So in love that our veins would become hot with passion. So in love that we knew in that moment that we’ve been kissing the wrong people all our lives.
I wrote this Algonquin Peak And Wright Peak Hiking Guide. It took me 3 days though which is not good. I am so rusty with writing scenery. It is so easy writing from the heart or poetry. With scenery, it has to have a certain flow of logic. I need more practice. I have a couple of guides to write so its all good.
One day, she will fall in love with me even though I told her not to. I will come to her life like a storm with fierce winds that will rattle everything. I am going to make her do things that she has not done before and experiences she once thought were very sinful. As she feels the exhilaration on her skin, a deep feeling of wonder fills her chest, and she cannot help but smile with the excitement of what today has to offer. In that moment, she will know that I am trouble. Someone she needs to stay far away from. But it will be too late for both of us. I am already part of her as if I am the air that she inhales and exhales. When we sleep in each other’s arms then we will know that a connection between us that is stronger than anything we have ever known exists even though we cannot see it. The warmth and certainty from each other’s hands will tell us more about each other than words could ever do. Like a storm, I knew I cannot stay. Everything will pass and everything will be over soon. So I told her not to fall in love with me. She may not be able to handle it when we part.
I do love her. I love her more than I thought possible. She is more beautiful than anything or anyone that I have ever known. Her hands fit so perfectly with mine. Her soft lips intoxicate my very soul and leave me wanting her more. Just being with her, I never felt so content in my whole life. If she ever cries or feels sad, my heart would sink so low, a pain that I have not known before. When she smiles, my heart would fly higher than I would think possible. It was as if her happiness is directly tied to mine. I love her, that much I know but we will have to part soon. I have no reason nor any explanation to offer. I am meant to leave, that much I know as well. We are never meant for each other but I am grateful for this moment where it feels as if we are.
There was nothing that I could have done when she left. There was nothing I could say to make her change her mind. I just packed up my clothes and left. If there was something I could do, I would have done it. If there was something I could say, I would have said it. But I knew there was nothing. All I could do was say goodbye. Goodbye to the life that we had. Goodbye to the dreams we had about the future. Goodbye to the life we were supposed to have together. Goodbye to the warm cuddles, dinner dates, and laughter we both shared. Goodbye to the life we had, we are having and we will have. Nothing left to do nor say other than goodbye.
Everything was dark, everything was painful, and everyday felt like I was just getting by. I felt emptiness at the pit of my stomach as if all the butterflies that I felt when I was with her died. Then I found you. Perhaps, it was more like you found me. You picked up the broken pieces of me and I learned to love again.
I have never loved anyone the way I loved you. You are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing in my mind when I fall asleep. I never laughed so hard with anyone, the way I laughed when I am with you. You are the only one I wouldn’t mind losing sleep over. The only one I wouldn’t mind caring for and being with forever. No one has loved me and cared for me the way that you have and I just want you to feel the same thing. Perhaps it was a good thing that my heart was broken into a million pieces. So that we can pick up the pieces, build it into a heart that fits perfectly for you. So that I can become the man that you have always dreamed of. I love you with all my heart, and I want you to always remember that.
The plane was making its descent down. My hands were shaking, and I felt a bottomless pit in my stomach. My knees did not seem to want to calm down. I was jittery to say the least. This was not my first plane flight and I was not scared of flying. It was the first flight where she was waiting for me somewhere down in that airport.
I have not seen her in a while. How should I act when I see her? I do not know what kind of expression I should make. I do not know what I should feel when I see her. I do not know what she is feeling nor what she will think of me. I do not know what will become of us in the future nor what will happen in the next few minutes. My mind is filled with questions without answers.
As the plane landed, I proceeded my way through the gates. She was there at the lobby but she did not see me yet. She looked amazing, more beautiful than I remembered her to be. I smiled and waved at her. As she looked straight at me, her face lit up with a smile. An expression of joy and happiness as she ran towards me. I opened my arms instinctively. She jumped into my arms and into my body.
She had been waiting for 1 hour. She knew the plane was going to be delayed but that information made her even more nervous as she kept looking at her watch every minute. She had not seen him in a while. As new passengers were getting out of the terminals, she turned her head and she saw him waving and smiling at her. He was as handsome as she remembered him to be. She ran towards him without thinking as if her body moved on its own. She jumped into his arms and everything felt good and well.
She buried her face on his shoulder as he held her tightly. She missed him so much that no words could express it. She could not think, all she knew was that she needed him. She needed him so much. Tears of happiness fell from her eyes. She needed his smile, she needed his arms, she needed his body and she needed his presence. She always knew that both of them will be together and that both of them will always find a way to be with each other.
I let her down gently. I saw that she was crying. I put my hand on her cheek and said, “lift your head, and baby don’t be scared of the things that could go wrong along the way. You’ll get by with a smile. You can’t win at everything but you can try….”
She unravels the most masculine instincts within me. A simple look, a simple touch, or a simple kiss and she brings forth a storm inside me. A pure force of desire, unrestricted, unhindered, consuming my mind and all my thoughts. A violent obsession to have her, as this thought proliferates through out my mind, impacting my senses and controlling all of my actions. I sense a growl inside me as if a caged animal lurks within. I want her now. I do not want to make love to her. I want to mark her like an animal marks his territory. Imprint my mark inside her mind, on her soul and onto her body so that she will know that she is mine. To kiss her from the back of her neck and move gradually down her spine. To forcefully grab her hands so she will know the strength of a man. To touch her lips and bite her skin. To do whatever I want in the most gentle, intricate and forceful of ways she could think of. So she will realize that she is free and yet my prisoner; a captive of her own will.