I found out where judgment of others comes from, at least for myself anyway. You maybe different. In here, I will talk about judgment of others. Of course, there are different types of judgments like decision making, discerning and so on. In here, I will only talk about your judgment of others. My path towards enlightenment is about getting over judgmental, limiting and fear based thoughts. It is important that I try to see where my judgment of others comes from.
Judgment Of Others Comes From Self-Hate
As much as I hate to admit it, judgment of others comes from our hatred of ourselves. Parts of ourselves that we do not like, we abandoned, and we hate manifest itself in other people. Other people become such a mirror of our hatred of ourselves that when we look at them, we only see ourselves that we hate. Does that make sense? I will elaborate more.
“That woman is fat and ugly!”
Let us say that a woman named Carla made this judgment. Carla saw a woman and Carla deemed that she is fat and ugly. Unfortunately, Carla only saw herself. Carla hated the time when she was fat. Carla deemed herself being ugly at that time. When Carla saw the woman, the woman reminded Carla of what she hates about herself. Carla hates being fat and she deemed herself being ugly. Being fat is a part of her that she hated and when she saw it in another person, she made that judgment. Maybe she got rejected and she blamed it on her looks, maybe she thinks that she only attracts men because she looks pretty, whatever it is, she hates that part of her that is fat and deemed it ugly.
When you abandon a part of you, like I did in here, that part does not disappear. It becomes hate, it becomes fear, and it becomes a part of ourselves that we have forsaken. Unfortunately, we still see this part of ourselves in other people. Other people become mirrors of what we hate about ourselves.
Judgments About Others Are Not True And They Are Not Reality
Another example is that a lot of people hate laziness. When we see people who are lazy, we automatically create a judgment that they will not achieve anything, they will suffer, they are wasting their life and they will not amount to anything. Unfortunately, this judgment comes from our hatred of ourselves as well. We hate that part of ourselves that is not doing anything, hate that part of ourselves that is just wasting time, hate that part of ourselves that is lazy and so on. When we see this part of ourselves on others, we automatically make the judgment that they are losers and not going to achieve anything. Unfortunately, our judgment is not the truth and certainly not reality.
Let’s say there are 3 people, “one is very talented in music, the other is average, the other is becoming deaf”. Who do you think will become famous in the field of music? Most people would say that the guy with talent will be the one, some may pick the average, some will pick the deaf but in reality we do not know. If you look at our history, very famous musicians come from all sorts of circumstances, and situations. Beethoven was deaf and he is a famous composer of music.
Even in our time. Let’s say there are 3 people. “One got drafted in the NBA while he is still in high school, one is doing average while he is still in high school, another one got cut or rejected from his basketball team in high school”. Who will become very famous in the NBA? The answer is that we do not know. Amazing NBA players come from all sorts of situation, and circumstances. Michael Jordan was cut from his basketball team because they deemed him not good enough.
Our judgments are not the truth nor they are reality. They are only illusions of the hatred we see in ourselves. We hate stupid people because we hate being stupid or not knowing anything. We hate spoiled people because we hate the part of ourselves that are spoiled. We hate incompetent people because we hate that part of ourselves that is incompetent. We hate violent people because we hate that part of ourselves that is violent. We hate bullies because we hate that part of ourselves that is a bully or hate that part of ourselves that is powerless or a victim.
What About Violent Crimes Like Murder, War And So On
It is the same thing. You hate that part of yourself that can make other people suffer, hate that part of yourself that is violent, hate that part of yourself that abandons other people and so on. If you do not hate this part of yourself, then you can commit any crimes against humanity without even blinking.
I can easily explain this with animals. A lot of people love dogs and cats while others see them as foods. To people that love dogs and cats, we see people who eat them as not compassionate, no feelings, cruel, uncivilized and barbaric. To people that eat dogs and cats, it is just part of their life. These people could be doctors, could be humanitarians, could have projects to save the world but they just eat dogs and cats. It may just be their culture. They do not hate themselves for eating dogs and cats. For people like me, I will hate myself if I eat dogs and cats because I abandoned that part of me that causes suffering to dogs and cats.
Non-Negotiable Qualities And Qualities We Look For In A Lover
Our non-negotiable qualities come from judgments of others. They come from fear. We carry them. I have non-negotiable qualities that I look for. A lot of women that I meet have them as well. They are based on fear. The longer we stay on this world, the more fear we accumulate because we do not heal ourselves. I am not ready to heal my non-negotiable qualities as well. I can do it but I do not want to right now.
I will explain this and why it comes from fear. Here are my non-negotiable qualities. One of them is that the girl has to love herself. This fear is implanted to me with my experiences with women. Women that do not love themselves tend to be very insecure, very high maintenance, requires validation from society all the time, ties her self worth to money, and so on. When you do not love yourself, you tend to sacrifice yourself for others. When you sacrifice yourself, the first person that is going to get hurt is your lover because he will see you suffering.
The simple truth is that this non-negotiable quality is not reality nor truth. A girl that does not love herself maybe the best lover that I will ever meet but it is because I carry this fear with me that I will never find out. I am not ready to heal or integrate this part of myself yet. Maybe in the future. When I was young, I did not have this fear. I did not have non-negotiable qualities and qualities I am attracted to. I just wait for my heart to pick one.
As we grow older, we pick up these fears that are really just an illusion based on our egos. We make it a lot harder for ourselves to be in love with someone. When I was young, I was thinking what would “true love” would look like? Now I can answer that. True love is nothing more than unconditional love or love that has no condition. It is just love that has no judgment of someone else, and it has no fear. In other words it is love that is very accepting.
The World Of Survival And Judgments
Unfortunately, there is a big possibility that we cannot fully take away our judgmental ways. A lot of the judgments we put on others come from the ego. Ego is there for survival. We feel good when we judge others. We feel superior when we judge others. It is a part of who we are.
For example, a lot of our humor and jokes are based on judgment and superiority. We make fun of others, we make fun of ourselves, we make fun of celebrities and we make fun of situations because it makes others feel superior. For example, I was watching this youtube show of Kevin Hart. One of the first jokes he has is self-deprecating humor. When others are in a situation that are not good or below average, we feel good about ourselves. It is crazy but our jokes, comedies and humor are based on superiority. We feel good when someone gets hit on the face by something hard. My cartoons when I was little are about bugs bunny hurting the bad guys and about a mouse and cat hurting each other. Judgments are part of this world because this world is based on survival.
Enlightenment Points In The Direction Of Loving Yourself And No Judgment
As crazy as it may seem, my path towards enlightenment involves loving all parts of myself. This includes the disgusting, ugly, evil and monstrous parts of myself. It does not mean I will act or do disgusting, ugly, evil and monstrous things. It just means I will love all parts of myself. If I abandon any part of myself, it can cause suffering. I will react more rather than being mindful of my actions.
Metaphysics, God And Soul Discussion About Judgment
In my journey to learning more about myself, it is hard not to have ideas about the afterlife. The more I learned about myself, the more I feel and think that I have a soul and that this body is only a vessel.
Why There Is No Hell
For there to be a hell, God has to be judgmental. I do not see that happening. In order for God to judge you, it will mean that God hates himself or that he hates a part of himself. Hatred for ourselves is a human concept. In order to have judgment, one has to have hate, in order to have hate, one has to have anger, in order to have anger, one has to have fear, and in order to have fear, one has to feel abandoned and not loved. This maybe too advanced and I have not covered how I came up with this and I will talk about it in my anger article.
In order for God to judge you, he needs to hate himself. He needs to see parts of himself as ugly and not beautiful. For God to be judgmental, he will have insecurities. I do not see that happening or I do not see a God like that. This part of the Bible for me is a man made concept. In order for God to judge you, it also means that you can hurt him emotionally. I do not see that happening as well.
Loving That Part Of Yourself That Is Judgmental
Your soul is eternal, and God is eternal. The afterlife consists of eternal beings. There is no judgment in the afterlife. Judgment is based on fear and when you are eternal and loved, you have no fear. Fear does not exist when you are eternal and loved. Where would fear come from? You can jump off a plane, swim to the depths of the ocean and you will not experience fear. Your soul no longer lives in survival mode. Your soul does not even have any concept of time. God can bring back time, move time forward and so on.
There is no judgment in the afterlife because there is no fear. You are on Earth, where fear exists so judgment exists. On Earth, you have the concept of time, concepts of survival, concepts of attachment, concepts of not being loved, concepts of abandonment, concepts of suffering and so on. So just enjoy it. Enjoy that part of yourself that is experiencing low level emotions. You can only experience those emotions on Earth. On Earth, you are separated from God which gives you a lot of uncertainty and fear which gives rise to low level emotions such as judgments.
When you are not separated from God, you will have absolute certainty, in that certainty, fear cannot exist therefore judgment cannot exist.