All the self-made millionaires that I know (not personally) that are happy with their lives and happy with what they have all said that we should be grateful. It is one of the best advice that I have ever received and one of the best advice anyone can ever give. Unfortunately, our world is full of pain. We experience a lot of pain through out our lives. It is hard to be grateful when you are in a lot of pain or you experience a lot of fear. Here are a few tips and tricks I learned that you can use to be grateful.
Looking Into Your Past
One of the best ways to be grateful is to look at your past. Think of the person you were 1 year ago. Think of any day around 1 year ago. So on that day, what did you need that you did not have in order to survive? In that particular day, did you need more food in order to survive? Did you need more housing in order to survive? Did you need a car in order to survive? Did you need more friends in order to survive? Did you need a lover or more people in your life in order to survive? Did you need more love in order to survive? Obviously NOT. You are obviously alive if you are reading this so you had everything you needed on that day to survive. On that day, I am willing to bet that you had an abundance of things you need in order to survive. On that day, you most likely can eat 3 times as much or if you try not to eat on that day, you will still be alive the next day. On that day, you can most likely eat every minute if you wanted. On that day, you most likely had plenty of water. Plenty of air. You had plenty of money. You had plenty of companions or people that love you or people that are willing to help you. Even if you do not have plenty of any of these things, you still had enough to make it through that day and live.
Now think of a day that is one week ago. On that day, I bet you had plenty of everything as well. You had an abundance of everything in order to live. On that day, you had enough and most likely plenty to survive. If I think of a day that is one week ago, I was in my house working. I had plenty to survive. I had plenty of everything. I did not need anything at all. It is like so much abundance. Like overflowing of everything I need and everything I have is so much on that day.
Now think of today. Before you go to sleep tonight, think of the things that you needed in order to survive today. You most likely have a lot of it. Most people that live in the USA will have plenty of everything they need in order to survive. Most people around the world will have plenty of what they needed in order to survive the day. So tonight, you will see that you have plenty. You have an abundance of blessings. What you are going to find out when you do this exercise is that human beings do not need a lot in order to survive. We do not need much and we have plenty of what we need.
If you believe in God, Heaven, afterlife, fate, destiny or any spiritual being, then you may feel that you are being given a lot of help in order to experience the goals you want to experience. You are getting a lot of help to experience the emotions, the events, activities and feelings that you want to experience in this life. At least, I feel that I am getting a lot of help. I am meeting a lot of people that are very beneficial to me. Even people that I meet only once or had a brief conversation made a lasting impact or impression because they were able to teach me something.
Everything Is Circumstantial – Everything Changes
If you want to stay constant then the one thing you need to do is keep changing because change is the one thing that is constant in this world. No matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, even if you hate your job, hate your life, hate your days, hate being single, hate everything, then you should know that these days do not last forever. They change, they pass by, and you have the power to change your days. You have the power to change your life. The girl that you like may have fallen to another guy, but maybe there is a better girl out there for you. Maybe if you let go of this girl, she will realize that she really likes you a lot. It happens to me lol. If you hate your job, you are jobless, or you do not make enough money then remember that if you are committed to changing your financial situation everyday then you know that one day will be your day where everything changes. You have the power to change your days, change your life, change your emotions, and change the way you look at things.
Think of the worst day that you ever had in your life. Always remember that the worst day of your life only lasts for one day. That day has already passed. Tomorrow is another day. Anything can happen tomorrow. You can feel something totally different tomorrow.
Like I said, if you need help, then help will come. If you believe in God, Heaven, afterlife, fate, destiny or any spiritual being, then you will feel that you are getting help. At least, that is what I feel. I feel like I am getting a lot of help to learn, meet people I need, and gain new perspective.
Enjoy Your Pain
Whenever I meet someone and this person experiences lose of love or lose of a relationship because their lover broke up with them, I always advice that they should enjoy the emotions that they feel. They should enjoy the pain of losing someone, losing dreams, losing affection and losing the future life together. They should enjoy the pain because that pain does not happen all the time. It happens very very few times in a person’s life. For me, it only happened once. It happened in my high school years which is 18 years ago lol. I was heart broken and the pain was there. I never experienced the same pain again of falling, getting deeply attached and losing that attachment. It has been 18 years and I’ve never experienced anything similar.
So enjoy the pain. Be grateful that you can experience this emotion of loss because it does not happen all the time. What I notice is that if a person enjoys this feeling, or if that person faces this feeling head on rather than resisting from it, it disappears so quickly. It disappears in weeks. I see this happen a lot. It all comes back to being grateful. Be grateful that you get to experience something you will not experience all the time. This pain will help you become a better lover in the future if you learned something from it.
The Uncertainty Of The Future – The Carrot On The Stick
Lack or the feeling of you are not good enough comes from the uncertainty of the future. It is one of the main causes. The feeling that you do not have enough money, you do not have enough cars, you do not have enough shelter, you do not have enough friends, and so on. It is also the feeling that you need more money, you need more cars, you need more houses, you need a lover, and etc. There is nothing wrong with getting these things. But if you feel you need these things to be good enough, then that is where lack truly comes from. Almost every human being suffers from this. I suffer from this as well but it is a never ending loop to gain certainty of the future that is only an illusion.
For example: I need more money to secure my future. Once I have that, I need more money to secure the future of my family. Then I need more money to secure the future of my lover. I need more money to secure the future of my sons and daughters. I need more money to secure the future of my grand children and so on. It is a never ending cycle that you do not have enough and that you need more in order to get certainty. It is the carrot on a stick and we are the horses. Most of us are trying to get into a position where we have certainty but no one will be able to have that. It is only an illusion. Anything can happen in the future. Saying that you need to have this ‘X’ type of external validation only implies that deep down inside you believe that you are not good enough and that you are undeserving of love.
Like I said, if you need help, then help will come. If you believe in God, Heaven, afterlife, fate, destiny or any spiritual being then you should believe that you are loved. Someone with higher power and higher understanding is making sure you have enough. The simple fact is that we all have enough.
There is nothing wrong with wanting more. At least, I do not believe there is something wrong with that. If you want more money, you want more freedom, you want a raise or promotion or better life, and etc, then I do not believe there is anything wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have that for the people you love as well. If you want more, at least try your best not to hurt anyone or try not to hurt planet Earth.
Anyway, the one thing I tell myself is patience. If I have this feeling of lack then I tell myself to be patient. I tell myself I am putting effort into being successful and I know it will come. I do not need to rush it and I just need to be patient. Patience comes from gratitude. Patience says that you have everything you need, you have plenty, and that you are good enough and that more will come in the future. So I should just be patient and I know that money, security, freedom, love, more joy, more knowledge and etc. will come in abundance in the future.
Patience is actually something that helps me attract women. Patience signifies that deep down inside that I know and 100% sure with absolute certainty that I deserve to give love and be loved.
How Society Views You
Lack also comes from society especially from your family, friends, lover and people you hang out with. No matter what community you belong to or who you hang out with, they will all have a standard of living. If you are rich, some of your friends will have expensive cars so you will feel that you need to have an expensive car also. If you are middle class and the girl you like fell in love with a rich man, you will think that you need to be rich in order to receive love. Society has a standard of living and this standard is going to be your standard as well. It is going to be imprinted to your subconscious unknowingly. At least, this is what happened to me. Society has a standard for success, standard for failure, standard for physical beauty, standard for inner beauty and etc. Somewhere along the lines, you will feel that you did not live up to this standard of expectations from others and this is where lack comes from.
One of the best ways to know that you are good enough is how you view yourself. If you feel that you are good enough, you have a lot of the things you need and you are living in a state of gratefulness then you will realize that society has no control over your standard. How do you live in a state of gratefulness? I don’t know, I am still learning hahahaha.
How You View Yourself – Self Worth And Self Love Issues
This is ultimately where lack comes from. The feeling that you are not good enough. The feeling that you are not worthy. It can be from anything. You feel bad about yourself that you feel that you are not worthy of being wealthy, you are not worthy of friendship, you are not worthy of a house, you are not worthy of abundance, and etc. The most common one is that people feel that they are not worthy of love. A lot of guys suffer from this because I used to suffer from this so I can tell. We fall for people that do not like us at all and worst of all we fall for people that will not give us the love that we deserve. Yet we insist that this is the person for us. What is bad is that a lot of us are projecting our insecurities to this person and it is most likely why this person does not fall for us. For example: We have insecurities that we are not successful so we fall for people who are very successful. If we get rejected, we still insists that this is the person for us. Another example is that we feel that we do not look good or we have insecurities about our looks so we fall for people who have very good physical beauty yet these people do not have any romantic or do not want to give us any love. Yet we insists that this is the “ONE” or the right person for us. It is because they are validating what we see in ourselves. We see ourselves as people that are not good enough or not worthy of love because of these insecurities. If we get rejected, we agree with the ones that rejected us so we still pursue them.
This is the reason we need to fall in love with ourselves first. This lack that we feel due to our insecurities will be projected to the people that we are romantically interested in. If we are in love with ourselves then we feel grateful of our body, grateful of our mind, grateful of our heart, and grateful of ourselves for being alive. This kind of abundance can be projected to the person we love. This maybe incomplete because I am still learning this but it is something to think about.
What If The Person You Like Has A Non-Negotiable Quality Like Money
I meet a lot of women and a lot of them have non-negotiable qualities and I have non-negotiable qualities as well. Some women want a very successful man. They want someone that makes a million dollars or more. Some women want a guy with a house and car already. A lot of women will have various non-negotiable qualities that they are looking for. I have non-negotiable qualities as well. Non-negotiable means non-negotiable. You cannot negotiate. It is either you have it or you do not. I always talk to the girl and try to see if we can work things out. If it is really non-negotiable then you have to let her go but open the door so she can come back.
You cannot get mad. One thing you need to realize is that these non-negotiable qualities are not about you. These non-negotiable qualities are made out of fear. They came from our past experiences dealing with other people and seeing others face the same problems compound these beliefs. This is about us or the person you like. Always remember that this is not about you. For example, the girl you like wants a man that makes 7 figures a year or 1 million dollars per year. This is based on fear and her past. Maybe in the past her lover was not a successful businessman and he was always depress. Maybe the family she has and friends she has made fun or belittle the lover she used to have. This caused her a lot of pain. Maybe men that are struggling with money are attracted to her because she has a lot of money so she cannot differentiate between a guy that loves her and a guy that wants to take advantage of her. There are many reasons and this is why you cannot judge her and you cannot judge yourself. Both parties are suffering and victims. The girl that you like that wants a man that makes 7 figures a year believes that her life will be a lot easier, less painful and happier with a person that is very successful. She is most likely correct.
So what you should do is to let her go but open the door so she can come back. Maybe in the future, you become rich or win the lotto. You are the perfect guy for her but she will be too prideful to comeback because you got mad at her. She could have been the best lover for you. For me, I got this scenario also in the past and I get it now as well when women have non-negotiable qualities. The girl or girls, she wanted a successful man for whatever reason. I told her that I really like her a lot and if she ever changes her mind then she should call me. The women did change their minds. It is because once you get married, you will see that you are not going to spend a lot of time with your friends, nor your family nor any other people. You really want someone that can give you love and appreciate the love that you give back. A lot of women, when they realize this, money does not become a non-negotiable quality anymore. It becomes negotiable. Always open the door because fear does disappear in time. We all improve and become better human beings as time pass by as well.
Debt Can Make You Feel That You Are Lacking
We all know this. We have to keep working because we have bills. I have to keep working because I have bills on my car hahaha. If we are in debt then we are in the negative. This is where we should avoid debt as much as possible. If we feel that we are going to lose our job, it will make us feel that we are losing control, we are uncertain of the future, and things are not going well. But if you do not have any debt, any bills, and you have some savings then most likely you will not be bothered if you lose your job. We have these attachments to these material things and we do not want to lose any of them. I do not want to lose my car for example. Some do not want to lose their house. We always feel that we need more or we need more money because of debt. Best way is to live in a state with little to no debt. Always live within your means and not go further away.
Some multi-millionaires advice people to be in debt. Some have a business plan based on debt. When you know how the system works and you know that being in debt will not put in you in a place of lack then maybe you should be in debt lol. I do not have all the answers. Debt is not my best topic but I know that I do not want to be in debt. I’m just giving you a perspective or insight into these things.
You Are Here On Earth – The Turtle Analogy
You are here on earth and that makes you very lucky and successful already. They say that the probability of being born is 1 out of 400 Trillion. It is like winning the lotto of all lotto. You are already here on earth. You have lots of gifts and things to offer the world. Be grateful. There was a Buddhist analogy of this as well. Imagine a life preserver. Imagine those donut shape life preservers. You have one life preserver and you are on a plane. There is a turtle swimming under the ocean. You tagged this turtle with a marker. You have to put this life preserver around its neck and the only way to do that is the moment it comes up for air. You cannot use any technology and you can only use your luck. Out of all the oceans in the world, you will have to pick one and throw this life preserver and hopefully at the same moment the turtle, who can be in any ocean, will stick its neck out so that this life preserver will be around its neck. Not to mention that there could be various weather patterns like rain or wind that can distort your life preserver or the way it lands. This is the probability of being born. You should be grateful that you are alive.
What About People That Are Sick, Dying, Being Sold, Slaves, Starving, And Etc. Should They Feel Lucky As Well
In order to answer this question, I will have to say something about the soul. Unfortunately, I did not write that article yet. But I do believe that every person that comes to this planet wants to experience something. You may want to experience being in a position where you are starving, or you are evil or you are a slave, or you are dying. So your soul wanted to experience these scenarios which is why you are in that circumstance. I cannot elaborate more on this because I did not write the article about souls yet. Hopefully, in the future. But yeah, if you are in this world, you are very lucky because you get to experience something even if that experience is very painful.