How To Deal With Failure

How To Deal With Failure



I thought I should write something motivational since it has been a while. The messenger of misery is here with me today also, I should write something motivational. Messenger of misery is so annoying. Everything is going well. Everything is moving along but when messenger of misery pays a visit, everything feels really bad. It is like you are inside a storm and everything feels so uncertain even though I know everything is doing well. If you ever become an entrepreneur, create a project for yourself, or create a business, one of the deadliest dream killers is the messenger of misery. Everything could be going well, but you just do not feel that way. When the messenger of misery comes, it is when a lot of people give up. I can only describe it as the messenger of misery. I got the terminology from another person actually. He describes it as messenger of misery.

So the topic for today is how I deal with failing, setbacks or failures in general. I was watching this anime called Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu. In English, Re:Zero -Starting Life in Another World. I like stories where it goes deep into people’s souls and people can understand the emotion because it is a part of them even though they do not realize it. I will explain more of this later. So the protagonist or main character was a basically a loser, and all he ever does is play video games in his room. He gets teleported  to another world. In this world, magic and dangerous creatures live. He does not have any magic at all. He is not very athletic. He has nothing. Everyone has magic, strength, abilities, great swords, and can speed up faster than a bullet. Everyone has magic which basically means everyone has guns, bazookas, grenades, and can kill the main character in a second. He has one magical ability. Whenever he dies, he turns back time so he lives again. He basically returns back from the dead to an earlier time. It is like he has a reset button or save point. Let’s say he dies on Tuesday, he goes back in time and lives again on Monday which before Tuesday.

In the last few episodes, the village and girl that he loves is going to be attacked by an army of cult worshipers. This army is very powerful. He tries to save everyone but he has no magic whatsoever. He is like an insect compared to everyone. Anyone can kill him in a second. He tries to save everyone but he just ends up getting killed. He sees all the villagers and people he cares about getting killed every time. He fails, and fails, and fails over and over again. What can he do against an army of magicians? He became frustrated, angry, desperate and hopeless every time he dies. It is really how a normal person is going to feel when he is faced with insurmountable odds. When your goal is so big, and you fail over and over again, you are going to feel a lot of negative emotions. Every episode till episode 18, he is very emotional. They show his frustration, anger, desperation every episode. Every episode, he was in despair. The audience or viewers are like, “just die already so you can reset and redo things”. We are more rooting that he dies because we already know that he messed up the day already and its not going to go well. We just want him to reset and redo things differently. A lot of people also do not know how he is going to do it. He is like a bug, how is he going to save everyone? How is he going to find a way? How is going to get to his goals?

To be continued…. I need to do something lol.

 

So Let’s continue. So the main character was in desperate mode for a couple of episodes. The only thing he could think of was to sacrifice his self respect, pride and everything about him. It is because he feels powerless. So he was grovelling to these rich and powerful women but they just turned him away. He was grovelling, letting people treat him like dirt, because he wants to save people he cares about. So no one wants to see him grovel. No one wants to see a main character grovel. No one wants to see a pathetic main character. So I remember a scene and he appealed to the person’s kindness and sense of decency. She has an army, and he wants her to use the army to help or save people. He did not understand why a person would turn him away when she has power to save people from dying. A lot of the viewers felt that she is cold hearted and no compassion at all. But this reflects reality which is why I love this story. She turned him away even though she has the power to save people. I will give you a real world example. If I go to Bill Gates, and say, “you can save my country men from dying of starvation and lack of jobs. You have lots of money and resources, you should help me.” You know what Bill Gates is going to do? He will turn me away. He is already helping Africa, curing malaria and a lot charity projects already. He would tell me that my country men needs to help themselves or save themselves. This is actually what the girl said in the anime. The Lord of the village needs to save the village.

So the main character kept dying. He was powerless. In his last resort, he fell into despair because he had no more choices left. He invited the maid or a girl that likes him (#2) to run away to a country side and live there peacefully. He invited her to marry him and forget the village and everything. She wanted to but she declined. Even though he is in despair and he looks at himself as a powerless person, she looks at him as someone amazing. One of the most amazing people that arrived in her life. Even though she likes him a lot, she declined because she knows what he wants. She knows that he wants to save people and that he could not live a cowardly life. She said that he is starting from zero whenever he failed. So he has nothing to lose. She will always be there to push him to move forward to go for the things that he wants.

It is so beautiful because it reflects real life so very much. It reflects something deep inside our soul. You will hate the main character for falling into despair and being emotional because it is a part of us that we see and hate as well. Whenever we fail, we become emotional and sometimes we fall into despair, we hate that part of ourselves. When the main character fell into despair, we just wanted to tell him, “GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER! DO STUFF! KEEP TRYING!” We did not want to see him pathetic or in despair. In a way, we see ourselves at one point like that, and we hate ourselves for it so we do not want to see it again.

This is where the story really got this correct. What do we do when we fail? We always have to realize or look at it that we are starting from zero. We started at zero, we can just keep trying and we can keep moving forward. We do not lose anything if we have nothing or if we have zero. If we fail in school, our jobs, our projects, relationships, and etc, we should just view it as a way to start again. We did not have these things in the beginning, we survived without them, we can just learn from our mistakes and keep moving forward.

When people fail, they stop trying because of the pain. It is mentally painful to fail. The main character kept failing. He went into despair and he viewed himself as someone that is powerless. It is normal behavior. I only know two ways to get over that pain. The first one is to be strong mentally or get stronger mentally. If you are strong mentally, failing is nothing. Have you ever seen self-made multi-millionaires fail? They fail all the time. They spend millions of dollars on programming, inventing new products, and trying new stuff. A lot of these risks do not work at all. A lot of times, they lose millions of money. But what separates them from normal people is that they learn from it then they move on. They try and improve on what made them fail. They do not carry their failures. Normal people, they carry it. They carry it for years. Failure becomes fear. They carry this fear all through out their lives. They do not try anything or take any risks and just do simple things that they are comfortable with because they are afraid of failing, or they are afraid of that mental pain. Failure is part of life. If you ever go for something bigger than yourself, go for something outside of your comfort zone, you will most likely fail but you will get stronger and you will be closer to your goals because of it.

This is where baseball actually taught me something. If you can hit the ball around 3 out of 10 times, you belong in the major leagues. In fact, you will most likely be in the hall of fame. Just 30 percent. If you try and succeed 30% then you are amazing. The baseball players spent more time failing than succeeding. They do not carry their failures with them. If they struck out or failed in the first inning, do you think they will carry it for the rest of the game? Of course not. They get ready for the next opportunity. They learn from their mistake or how the pitcher pitches and they prepare for another opportunity. They do not let the strike out, fly ball or ground out to weigh them down or put them in despair. It is even harder for pitchers. If somebody got a home run from you, there will be fear that the next person will score again and you will make your team lose. Pitchers spend a lot of time with mental battles than anything. We just see talent or how fast or accurate they throw the ball but in reality everything is a mind game in that field for them. We have to view failing in life the same way in a sense that we have to prepare for the next opportunity rather than dwelling on our past mistakes or having fear encumber us or paralyze us.

The second way to overcome the mental pain is to do what you love. Steve Jobs explains it a lot better than me. Here is the clip. If you give up when you failed, it is most likely you hate what you do. Who would want to do something they hate? Let’s say I hate making desserts but love making main dishes. If I had to come up with an amazing dessert in 6 months, then I try to create one everyday for 6 months and failed. I will most likely quit by the end of 6 months. I do not want to do something I hate then fail. Steve Jobs is right. It is because I am sane. I’m not going to do something I hate and have a high chance at failing at it. If it is something I love to do, I will most likely do it till I succeed because I am enjoying my time.

Just remember that you started from nothing. If you fail, it just means you are starting over again. You can no longer lose so keep trying and keep fighting for the things that you want. Lastly, forgive yourself for failing. You will have to be able to forgive yourself for failing. You cannot always win. When you fail, be more gentle on yourself. Do not punish yourself too much like you should have done this, you should have done that, and etc. You can do those or blame yourself but not too much. Be gentle and forgive yourself. Remember failing makes you stronger so no matter what happens, you gained something from trying even if you fail. So be gentle and be more forgiving on yourself when things do not work out your way. In the anime, he returns back to life in a time in the past. So he gets to start over. It is the same way with reality. If we fail, the same opportunities may not pass by but new opportunities will. In a way, we are starting over from nothing. We can start over again and do things a lot better.

(I wanted to write about this for 3 weeks now, I just could not find the time. I really see myself a lot in the anime or story. I have more points or things to write about but I will save them at a later time. This is not as congruent or as flowing as my other articles but it is good enough for now since I am busy.)

Share your thoughts. It helps me and other people a lot.