I did not expect to be back at this place again of busy streets, old friends that I haven’t seen in a while, and where there are more cold days than I would have liked. I zipped my coat as cold winds brushed off of my face. I walk begrudgingly as more and more snow gets stuck on my boots. I hated this place. The scent of pollution coming from too many cars, the sound of noisy merchants advertising their goods, and I can taste the panic from everyone as they frantically hurry to their jobs. But I knew I had to go back to see her so I picked myself up and hurried to my friend’s party where I know she will be. I went inside the house and took off my coat. I tasted the cold pinkish drinks and they were fruity but I couldn’t care less. I am only here for her. I am here to see her and nothing else.
I still remember our childhood together. We would walk hand in hand all along the clear waters of the beach. The waters would wet our lower legs as sands would get stuck on our feet. We would walk till the sun slowly sets over the horizon. She would always say that the sky was very beautiful as shades of red, orange and blue streaks across to the never ending eternity. I would always look at her and say that she is far more beautiful like the way they do in the movies. So cliche but those moments always make her smile. I love those moments with her. I would take her home, make sure she is safe, and give her a kiss good night. She would always text me to make sure I safely arrive at my home as well. Those were the days where I was the happiest.
But I left her all alone. I told her the most painful of all things. I thought it would be the best for her and me if I just end it and deprive each other of our presence till we forget what it was like to touch each other, to talk to each other, to kiss each other, and to forget that we were ever in love.
As our eyes met across the room and in that instant I knew that I can meet a million women and yet she will always be the most beautiful one. I walked towards her and held her hands. They were soft, warm, but I noticed that they were also trembling. I touched her cheeks and brushed her hair aside. My heart couldn’t fly higher as she looked at me so lovingly. An overwhelming feeling inside my heart took over my whole body. In that moment I knew, I still love her so much. I never want to be apart from her again. I want to be near her always, to be there for her in times of joy and to be there for her in times of sadness. I felt so sad because I know I made her cry. I have always regretted that I caused her so much pain. Now, I want nothing more than to be the source of her happiness. The person that will always make her smile. I want to protect her smile until the end of time. As all these thoughts gather in my mind, I wanted to tell them to her but all I could say was…
“I love you”
She did not say anything. She looked into my eyes. Silent. As if she was processing everything.
She opened her lips, and said in a small and weak voice, “then don’t ever leave me”, as tears fell from her eyes.
“I won’t. I will love you forever”
I heard from a friend today and she said you were in town. Suddenly the memories came back to me in my mind. How can I be strong, I’ve asked…