The trees swayed back and forth along the song of the wind as my tired legs found relief, dangling along the edge of this white mountain. The wind carried the scent of Autumn, telling the trees to bloom and explode in vibrant colors. “I shouldn’t be here”, I thought to myself. My group just left, and I should be with them but in this moment, I was mesmerized by the trees that were in front of me. I could not move, I could not think, I could only do what was asked of me which was to fall in love with the world around me.
Fragments of my memory began to resurface… I held her hand, I touched her cheeks, and I told her “she should not fall in love with me”. I should not fall in love with her either. We were star-crossed lovers that should not hold hands, should not kiss, should not meet, and shouldn’t fall in love. But we already fell before the first touch, before the first words were spoken, and even before we were first introduced with each other. There was a time when I miss her right before I sleep at night, I miss her right before I was about to eat, I miss her everyday, in every moment, and in every scenario imaginable. We were in love for such a brief amount of time and yet the pain remained for what seemed like an eternity.
In our lifetime, there are things we shouldn’t do but we do them anyway. What can I do? I could not help myself. I was already in love way before I could stop myself.