So if you read my anger post, one of the concepts that I learned was this concept of the path of love and unloved. I will further discuss this in here. I can write a lot of things about this I will try to make this as short as possible. I will just create more articles concerning this. I am going to keep coming back to these two concepts because these two concepts are core concepts of a lot of ideas and thoughts I have about enlightenment. The two paths look something like this.
Edit: Unfortunately, I tried to make this short but it did happen lol.
Path Of Fear/Abandonment/Unlove
Trigger (Event, Circumstance, Problem And Etc.) –> Abandonment –> Fear Of Not Loved –> Ego Activates –> Negative Emotion Such As Anger, Frustration, Depression, and etc. –> Control The Situation –> Suffering
Path of Love
Trigger (Event, Circumstance, Problem And Etc.) –> Love –> Acceptance –> Freedom –> Positive Emotions
The whole concept of the path of love has a lot to do with metaphysics. In the path of love, you have to believe that you are loved. Your God loves you. Everything in this world, and everything in this universe loves you. You have a purpose when you came to this world. Everything in this world is helping you get to that purpose. In essence, everything loves you, and every event or circumstance is there to teach you a lesson so that you can fulfill your purpose. So it does not matter what religion or God or Gods that you believe in. In the path of love, you believe that your God or Gods or the universe loves you.
Just like in Steve Job’s speech, you have to believe in something. It is one of the ways to travel the path of love. If you do not believe that you are loved or that everything in this world loves you then it will be very difficult for you to travel the path of love. If you do not believe that you are loved, then there is a big chance that you will always travel the path of fear.
Loved Vs Unloved/Abandonment – Losing A Job, Failing, And Etc
If you lose a job, failed at a job interview, a girl dumps you, you failed a test, you lose a competition, or something goes wrong in your life, how would you interpret that? How would most people interpret that? So think about the things that went wrong in your life and how did you interpret them.
Let’s say you went for a job interview that you very qualified for. Instead, they hired someone else or maybe you learned that the person they hired is not qualified and you are so much better than that person. You are are trying to find a job for some time now and the job that you finally got is a job that you are overqualified, you are underpaid, and you do a lot of work. How would you interpret what happened in this scenario? I am pretty sure that most people would interpret this as that the world is unfair. It is a dog eat dog world out there. You have to step on people’s corpses to climb higher, you have to have connections to get the job, you have to drag people down to get up, you are going to be so much better and so much more successful if you drag others down or use them so that you can get higher or have a better life than the one you currently have. This person is always in fear mode. Other people are out to take what belongs to him or what he is supposed to have. He always separates himself, uses others, and does everything to get what he wants.
There are a few people who interpret this scenario differently. They interpret that they did not get the job interview because it is not for them. There is something better waiting for them. There are things that we are not meant to have because there are better things waiting for us. He interpret that not getting the job is probably a great thing to happen for him. When he got the job that he is overqualified for, he interprets this as something he needs. This job is there to teach him something, so that he can learn, meet people that will change his life, and when it is time to leave, then he will leave to be in places that most suitable for him. The guy that walks the path of love may not even interpret this scenario at all, he may just view it as a scenario that happened in his life and he moves on to the next page. He may not even place a judgment on the scenario.
The path of love dictates that everything in this world loves you. Whoever your God is or whatever your religion is, the path of love makes the assumption that your God always loves you unconditionally. Things happen for a reason. Things happen so that you will be on a path that is better suited for you. On a path that will give you the things that you want in this life.
A great example of the path of love is Steve Jobs’ speech about the dots connecting. He interpreted that he is not meant to finish college, or the courses in his college because he is meant to learn calligraphy which will serve him well in the future. He lost the company he built so that he can fall in love with his wife and create a beautiful family. He connected the dots backwards. He can see the path of love by connecting the dots backwards. I think there are times in our lives where we can do this where we say “I didn’t get that girl because I was meant to fall in love with my beautiful wife”, or something similar like that. The path of love is easy to see by connecting the dots backwards but when Steve Jobs’ lose his company, he could not see it. It is the same thing for most of us. Can we see the path of love when we are in the middle of a storm or when things are not going right in our life? Can we believe that there is something better waiting for us whenever we take a step back, or whenever we fail at something? Or do we interpret this as the universe preventing us from reaching our goals because the universe does not love us?
I truly believe that the situations and circumstances that happen in our lives are always good, we just judge them to be bad or view them in a negative way.
Victim Mentality VS You Are The Creator
The victim mentality is when we feel powerless of a circumstance in our lives and we blame others for it. I cannot get the job that I want because the world is unfair. I am struggling with money because the government pushes us down. I cannot get the girlfriend that I want because the other guy is richer than me. I cannot get the life that I want because it is too hard, and the world is against me rather than helping me. It is a feeling of powerlessness and we blame others for it. We get an excuse to stay the victim and stay as a victim by rationalizing that we are powerless and circumstances are beyond our control. When a circumstance happens or we fail at something, people rationalize it as something they are powerless to change. The world pushes them around. The universe pushes them around. If it is not easy, the person gives up because the victim mentality creates a thought that they are powerless and everything is out of their control. They view people that are rich as people that are lucky, people with talent, and these people that are doing well with money or with their life have characteristics that they do not have. Victim mentality denies responsibility for their lives, denies responsibility for what happens to them, denies responsibility for their actions or just plain denies responsibility and blames everything on others, the world or something outside of them.
The path of love basically says that you are the creator of your life. The circumstances and your life in general are based on your thoughts, actions, and beliefs. Everything that happens in your life is because of you. You are the responsible for your life 100% of the time. You are responsible for your success 100% of the time. When you are trying to become successful and you fail, the path of love suggests that this is either to make you stronger or to make you learn more or to take a different approach. When things do not happen well in your life, they are situations that are meant to guide you to the life that you want. For example, if I want an amazing life, I will fail at having a normal life. I will hate a normal life and anything normal like jobs that are normal, I will fail at it. It is because I want an amazing life. The path of love dictates that you are so loved, so powerful, so infinite, and that everything in this world loves you so much that they are going to give you what you want. You are always the creator of your life whether you know it or not or believe it or not.
Powerless VS Powerful
This is basically the same as victim mentality vs you are the creator. You can interpret your life, your circumstances or your triggers as the universe pushes you around, or you are the universe. You are so powerful that everything in this world agrees with you and what you want to experience. If you have been watching a lot of superhero movies and you want to be a superhero, the universe will create a villain for you. The universe will bring to your life a bully. This bully will make you feel unloved, abandoned and basically just very mean to you. The universe is giving you a chance to be the hero or experience being the hero. You may get injured, you may die, and etc, but you are hero to yourself. Heroes do not always live in the end. The universe will create drama in your life, obstacles, pain, suffering and etc. so that you can experience being a hero. You maybe the one suffering or people around you, but this is still something you wished for. The universe agreed with you. You may interpret this as the path of fear where you are powerless and bad things happen to you all the time but this is what you asked for and wished for. So you have to look at your thoughts and your beliefs because the universe has no choice but to give you experiences that you wished for. What we wished for often has drama. Even romance. Romance has a lot of drama. Drama has a lot of pain and suffering. Stories, and fairy tales are not exciting without drama or without the duality.
I am drama free because I asked for the duality of this world to stop for my life. I want to achieve my goals as happy as I can be. If pain will make me grow 10 times faster, I would rather take the slow road filled with happiness. If the fast road is happiness then great. Fast road is most likely happiness or the path of love. If it is not, it is all good also. I do not want to be a hero, I just want to make the world a better place. I do not want fairy tale romance, I just want to love a girl and for that girl to love me. No more villains, no more drama, no more pain, no more suffering, just a lot of loving each other, happiness, adventure and the good stuff. I reject all the fear, insecurities and unworthiness that other men project unto me.
Survival Mentality VS Not Even Death
A lot of people fear death. Not just death, people fear the way they are going to die. They do not want to die of disease, they do not want to die because they are taking selfie, they do not want to die by getting hit by a train, they do not want to die alone, they do not want to die a stupid death, they do not want to die by drowning, and so on. Don’t you think it is kind of silly that people fear the way they are going to die especially when no one will remember it? So someone died 100 years ago by getting too close to a lion. Such a stupid death. All his relatives are now dead, people that know him are now dead, and no one really remembers him now. It is going to be the same for all of us. No one is going to remember how we died, nor care. Even the people that died in WWII, we do not care how they died. We only care how they lived. Dying in a certain way is feared because of judgment. People fear judgment of others. Even the way people die, people fear it. But the irony is that no one is going to remember it because everyone is going to die. No one has ever successfully not die.
Path of love means nothing to fear, not even death. Why would you fear death? Everyone dies. It just means that you have not accepted death. The path of love says that there is nothing to fear. NOTHING TO FEAR!! NOTHING!! The path of fear is low level vibration because you forgot that you are eternal, infinite and loved. Whatever your religion is, if your God loves you then why do you fear death? Most religions have the concept of afterlife. If you believe that you have a soul then why do you fear death? A soul is eternal, infinite, and loved.
The path of fear shows up a lot because we are in a world of survival. According to Maslow, before we can open up to love, belonging in a community, we need to survive first. We will do anything to survive. We will steal, kill, murder, and destroy countries just to survive. Hypothetical situation, you live in a third world country, you are a young adult and you need money to feed yourself. If you have a choice between stealing an apple or starving today, what would you choose? What if you do not have money for food for the next couple of days? You will definitely steal the apple. What if it is a phone and not an apple? You will steal the phone. What if you can get 1 million dollars for robbing and killing someone? You do not have to steal anymore. You can have an easier life filled with lots of food everyday if you kill someone. A lot of people will do it.
People will hurt others to get the things that they want. There are so many guys that say bad things about me, spread gossip about me and so on just because they like a girl that is attracted to me. If they can hurt my reputation, they can make me look bad in front of the girl then they think that they will be able to get the girl. When people are in survival mentality, they are walking the path of fear. They will hurt other people to get ahead, sabotage companies to get ahead, hurt the environment to make more money, and so on. While the path of love says that you always have enough, you are always provided for, so you do not need to hurt others because you are always loved. You can get everything that you want by walking the path of love because you are always loved.
Insecurity VS Security
You can walk your life with insecurity thinking you are lacking, you do not deserve love, and that the world denies you the things you want or you can walk your life with security that everything is provided for, you are loved, everything that happens in your life is for the good of you.
Reaction VS Responding/Understanding
If you walk the path of fear, reaction is what will always happen to you. You will react at a lot of things, make judgment of a lot of things, to try and protect yourself and your ego. You will always have the need to be correct. To prove to others that they are wrong. Your ego will be in control of your life all the time. When bad things happen to you, you will be in reaction mode or panic mode. You will be like “We got a small dent on the front!! Damage control!!! Abandon ship!!!”
As oppose to the path of love where you do not need to react at all. You are like a mountain. Just like the article that I wrote. Just like in Mulan, the emperor said, “no matter how much the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it”. No matter what circumstances arise in your life, you have to be a mountain. Someone people can look up to, can rely on in times of uncertainty and so on. The mountain, does not react.
Hakuna Matata VS Life Is A Burden
The guys that I know that get a lot of girls have this mentality which is “do not worry about it or hakuna matata or no worries”. As oppose to the other guys that worry about everything, they think too much, they do too much, and they lose the girl.
The path of fear suggests you are all alone, no one loves you and you have to get everything and do everything in order to get the things that you want in life. You need to do something to deserve love, to deserve appreciation, and to deserve validation or praise. The type of thinking is like this. In order to get the girl that you want, you need to be successful, you need to look good, and you need to do things for her so that she will love you back. It is a very logical approach to life and this is what most of us are doing. In order to get the things that you want, you have to take action. You have to work hard to deserve something. You have to go through a lot of trials and tribulations to have a happy life or get the life that you want. I used to think like this too.
The path of love says otherwise. You are loved unconditionally. You get paid or get money for being you. You get the girl you want for being you. You get anything and everything in this life just for being you. You deserve to be happy with your work and get paid for it. You deserve to do nothing and get paid for it. You do not need to do anything to get the girl you want, because you deserve love just by being you.
The Need To Know VS Trust In The Universe
The path of fear says that you need to know each step to your goal. You need to know why stuff happens before making decisions. If there are 100 steps to achieve your goal, you need to know every one of those steps first before starting. This is the reason that people do not become successful. It is because they need to know all the steps before they will start. Before they take the first step, they need to know everything first or else they will never start.
When bad things happen in your life, you need to know why. Why do bad things happen? This is the path of fear. You do not have trust on your God, universe or that you are loved. If you only trust what you know then you need to know everything which will never happen. The reason why you need to know is because you need control. You need to be able to control everything.
The path of love says that you do not need to know. Just trust in the universe and that you are loved. You will get the information if you require it. Steve Jobs says you can only connect the dots by looking backwards. When something bad happens in your life, there maybe no explanation. You may ask “Why God? Why is this happening to me? I’ve been doing good, I’ve been doing everything I can to help people. Why am I being punished?” You may not get the answer or you may get the answer in the future. Even after a lot of time has passed, you may never get the answer. The path of love says that you have to trust that you are loved. You do not need to know everything. Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason behind everything even if we are too simple minded to know it. So even if you do not get the answer, trust that everything in this world loves you.
Path Of Fear Can Lead To Suffering For You And For Everyone – Source Of Evil
I will just provide examples in here.
Company not doing well –> fear –> control –> steal, cut production cost, hurt environment, hurt others, and so on
More profit –> fear of not enough, uncertainty of future –> greed –> control –> sabotage competition, steal their ideas, cut cost, hack their computers
Failed test, redo another grade –> fear of future –> frustration –> relieve it by hurting someone or bullying someone
Rejected by a girl –> fear that you are low self worth –> Control –> Anger –> Frustration –> call her names like whore, slut, stupid, and so on.
Rejected by a girl –> fear that you are unlovable –> judgment –> I am ugly, I am fat, I am not worthy of love
Failure –> fear –> discouragement –> never try again and never get out of your comfort zone
Someone is mad at you –> fear –> judgment –> anger –> hurt that person
Path Of Love Can Lead To Positive Emotions For You And For Everyone – Source Of Good
Company not doing well –> love –> letting go –> start building something new or salvage whatever you can, trust that you will be better off.
More profit –> love –> compassion –> help more people, give people power to create, benevolent products, benevolent apps, and so on
Failed test, redo another grade –> love –> acceptance –> study harder, try art, dance, sports, and other things
Rejected by a girl –> love –> acceptance –> give her freedom and trust that a girl is meant to be with you in the future
Rejected by a girl –> love –> acceptance –> I am a great guy, I deserve a girl that will love me. There must be a girl out there for me.
Failure –> love –> learning experience –> find other ways or start over again
Someone is mad at you –> love –> compassion –> understanding that this person sees you as a threat to something he wants and fears that you will take it.
Why God Is Not Judgmental
It is because there is really no such thing as good and evil. Evil comes from fear. Whenever you hurt someone, you have fear inside you. There is a high chance of hurting yourself, people around you, the world and the planet if you walk the path of fear. You may ask, what about hurting animals, insects, hurting the planet, trees, rivers, mountains, and so on. I can explain this with the path of compassion versus the path of judgment. Compassion comes from the path of love. Judgment comes from the path of fear. This will be another article.
We Are Nothing More Than Spoiled Children
If I think about it, we are nothing more than toddlers. We never really grew up. My nephew wants ice cream. We did not give him ice cream because he did not eat yet. He did a tantrum, he cried, he screamed and etc. If we give him what he wants, he will smile and we will all smile because the smile of a toddler is so contagious. If a toddler smiles, it makes us all happy.
I see all adults as nothing more than toddlers. If we do not get what we want, we create fear. We cry, hurt others, and make a mess of a lot of things. But if we get what we want, we are so happy, we smile, we make other people smile, and we feel good about ourselves. We feel loved and so we get conditioned by this world that if we get what we want then we are loved and if we do not get what we want then we are not loved so we experience fear.
Changing The World
So in spirituality, if you want to change the world then start with yourself. Forget conspiracy theories, forget big acts, forget destruction of evil corporations and so on. Start with yourself, start with your inner beauty. Just like the poem. “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.”
PS: You can change unlove to abandonment. There is no such word as unlove in the dictionary.