You shouldn’t fall in love with me

You shouldn’t fall in love with me

You shouldn’t fall in love with me. I will love you, that much I know. I will give you roses, chocolates, and random gifts just because I always want to see you smile. I will take you to restaurants. They will not be fancy nor expensive but they will have delicious foods that you will love. I know you will love them because I know you and I am always thinking of you. I will kiss you always at your forehead, or your nose or your cheeks or some random part of you face just because I missed you and I wanted you to know that I missed you.  I will always encourage you to do the things that makes you happy. I will try to understand your actions and circumstances even though I will get mad at you sometimes. I want to understand you more just because I want to get to know you better. I will always going to be there for you whenever you need me even though I am very busy because I want to be a good lover to you.

But you shouldn’t fall in love with me.

When I become the pillar that you always rely on, the person you trust the most, the one that holds you up when you are weak, then in that moment, I will leave you. I will leave you all alone, with no one to talk to, no one to rely on, and I will pull and separate every part of myself away from you. I will leave you falling into the abyss, into the dark corners of your mind, where nothing but the shadows of your thoughts linger. You will wonder where it all went wrong. As you look into the past, you will realize that the happiness we shared was only a memory now and the moments we shared will never happen again. The dreams that we have where we will share our time together and build something together are gone. I destroyed them without even blinking. When your life is falling apart, your world seems to be filled with misery, and everything is not working your way, then you will wonder if there was something you could have done and if there is something you can do to get everything back. As these thoughts proliferate all over your mind, you will find no answers.

Then one day, you will realize that it was not your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Somethings are just not meant to be.

 

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