I’m not sure I’m the person that should be talking about this. I don’t have much fear of death so I may not be able to relate that well to people who fear it. Someone who feared death or has a phobia of death and conquered that fear would probably be more suitable to talk about it. So compared to that person, I most likely don’t know anything about death. But I’ll give it the old college try. Let’s see what comes out.
Fame
Everyone wants to become famous. If I become famous, I will be happy. I will get girls, money and so on. These objects will make me happy. Let’s say that you become famous. There are magazines that write amazing praises about you. The man of year is <insert your name>. Amazing man, good, kind hearted, sexy, and so on. Any praise you want. The news talk about you too. They sing your name and praise it. They say all of your good deeds and how amazing you are. In stories, you are like the hero that defeated the demon king and brought paradise to everyone. You are like the greatest invention or being of all time.
I want to explain how fleeting this is and in order to do that, I will ask a few questions. Can you grab water with your hands? No, because it is liquid and will seep out of your hands. Can you grab or hold the wind? Obviously, the answer is no. My last question is, can you hold or grab words? This is what fame is. Just words created by other people. The ego will be inflated by such words but it cannot grabbed them or capture them. They come and go as such, fame comes and goes also.
You will become an unknown person again or a “has been”. There will be a hole or feeling of incompleteness again so you try to be relevant and try to get the fame that you once had in order to fill this hole or void that you are feeling. Maybe you will succeed once again or twice but you cannot succeed forever. You will be left with this hole again, this feeling of incompleteness. You cannot capture other people’s words, it is not sustainable. You will be back to feeling miserable in no time because you will go back to the same old consciousness you had before which is feeling incomplete.
Why Are We Talking About Fame?
Why are we talking about fame? I thought we are talking about death? The ego or unconscious mind pattern wants to survive. The ego is afraid to become nothing, afraid to die and afraid to become a nobody. It knows that it is going to die and in order to live on, it needs other people. It wants to live inside other people’s mind. It tries to survive by inserting itself into other people’s mind. So the more people know you, the more fame you have, the more the ego will like it even though it is only a temporary feeling that feels good.
The opposite of nothing is fame or to be recognized by other people or for other people to remember or see you that you had done something amazing.
Accumulation
The ego is afraid of nothingness. The solution that the ego finds in order to not die is to accumulate. In needs to complete the “story of me”. The thought that “if I complete the story of me” then that will be the greatest accomplishment that it will ever do in this life. Like all stories, the hero has to accumulate stuff, items, titles, accomplishments and even people in order to create an amazing story just like a video game or fantasy story. “I’m not ready to die because I haven’t completed the story of me yet,” is a common thought that most people have. The ego unconsciously thinks that when the story becomes complete, the ego will have a legacy and will live on. In reality, no one really gives a crap. People are too focused on their mind and thinking about themselves to think about other people. Do you care about the greatest basketball player in the 1900s or greatest doctor or greatest soldier? Nobody gives a crap.
When the “story of me” gets completed, then the ego can die. Only when the “story is complete”. If the story is not complete, the ego doesn’t want to die. It has to keep accumulating to complete the story that will never be completed.
Accumulating Experiences
So the ego is this miserable little consciousness, or the little me. So the little me would love to accumulate experiences to add to itself. “Look at me, I have gone to Vegas and played the casino.” Before, you are just a little consciousness that is miserable but now you are the little consciousness that went to Vegas. “I will add that experience to the story of me.” The person will keep on accumulating these experiences so that the little me would not feel bad for some time. The ego will feel unsatisfied again so it will seek other places to add to its story. “This is not it, this is not what I thought would satisfy me or complete me forever, I need more places or more experiences.” The ego would repeat this insanity over and over, never finding satisfaction.
Lover
A lot of people have this “idol of happiness” that finding a lover will complete them. The little consciousness or little me would be like, “no one loves me, I’m so miserable.” Then when it gets a lover, it will be like, “FINALLY! Someone loves me! I finally found someone that will make me happy forever! We will sign a contract also that this person will be bound to me and he or she will make me happy forever.”
Maybe the honeymoon period would lasts for quite a while but then the little consciousness will feel bad again. The one person that is meant to make you happy is no longer doing that. The little consciousness would be like, “this person changed, she is broken because she is no longer fulfilling her promise. She is not making me happy, she is supposed to make me happy forever. I got scammed! I want a divorce.”
It is a heavy task imposed on people to make you feel happy forever in which no one can fulfill.
Nothing In This World
Nothing in this world can really satisfy the ego which is why it wants more and more and more. It is trying to find paradise where it will be complete in a world filled with ups and downs. It doesn’t want the downs which is impossible. There’s nothing in this world that can fully satisfy the ego forever as such it always fails, always disappointed in life, always trying to complete the story.
When the story is complete, it is the only time the ego can feel that it can die. It is the only time it will not be afraid of nothingness. But the story can never be complete.
You Will Accumulate And Be Disappointed
Most people will accumulate objects, experiences, people and so on in order to complete the “story of me.” This goes back to Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs. The more you accumulate, the more you will feel good temporarily. Unfortunately, it is only temporary.
Of course, it is always nice to have a good soft bed compared to living on the streets. Comfort is always better. I’m not denying that. Once you find satisfaction in the present moment always, it won’t matter where you live. The present moment would be so nice that your ego disappears. It cannot look at the future so it cannot think of lack. Comfort is relatively important but it is not absolutely important. It is nice but it is not needed.
Having said that, accumulating objects can cause great amounts of suffering when you try to acquire the object, have the object, when you are about to lose the object, and when you lose the object. Most people will have an object that is a symbol of their “idol of happiness”. “If I can only acquire this object then I will be happy forever.” The process of acquiring and losing that object often causes severe amounts of suffering. I’m not saying don’t accumulate but be aware of the amount of suffering that you are causing to yourself.
I often go with if it is meant to be then it is meant to be. If it is not, it is not. No big deal.
Distractions
Most of the items that you will accumulate would be for the ego to impress other people or even for distraction or entertainment. If you have a nice place to live in (no matter how small) and enough food, then you are good for life or you are living a good life. But people will need to accumulate to feel good, impress others, and inflate the ego. So even if you have a nice place to live in and enough food to lasts for a long time, the ego will feel bad, feel lack, and feel miserable. It needs to accumulate in order to feel good about itself.
When you no longer need distractions, entertainment, and so on, then there is no reason to accumulate anything. If you feel good in the present moment, there’s no reason to accumulate at all. It is because most people don’t feel good and live in fear is the reason they accumulate. If you feel good right now or feel happy, there’s really nothing to buy, nothing to get, nothing to accumulate since people accumulate to feel good or relieve fear.
When the ego accumulates an object, it will feel good but in it is only temporary. When the ego feels good, it doesn’t look at the future which is full of lack and worry. As such, the solution that the ego found is to accumulate in order to find certainty, in order to feel safe, in order to feel good, and in order to escape death or nothingness.
The Split Mind
The split mind can cause a lot of suffering. When the mind cannot find certainty, it will keep thinking about it. A way to stop all of these fearful thoughts about death that causes person to suffer is to make a decision on what you believe in. For death, most people have a split mind what happens after death. Is it nothingness or is there an after life? Will I just become nothing or will I become something else? So for most people, they will have to face their beliefs on what will happen after death.
A person will have to dive deep into this. What do you believe in? Do you believe in nothingness or after-life. When I say deep dive, you have to choose which one and what would that mean. If you choose “life after death”, then what does that mean for you? If you choose “nothingness” then what does that mean for you? If your mind is suffering a lot, you may have to choose one and try to rationalize what are the disadvantages and advantages of it.
So For Me
So you have to think about this yourself. Everyone will most likely find their own beliefs and answers.
Nothingness
So for me for example about nothingness. It is probably a good thing. I don’t have to fulfill expectations of society. I don’t have to be successful, I don’t have to get a lover, I don’t have to do anything. It will become meaningless anyway since I will turn into nothing. Even if I buy a big house, become famous and so on, I won’t be able to enjoy it when I die so I should just enjoy what I have right now whatever it may be. All the people I know are going to be nothing also and I can’t save them from nothingness since I cannot save myself so I have already accepted that.
The drawbacks, the end of accumulation of experiences, accumulation of things like houses, and so on. It may not be a drawback at all. It just means, I don’t really need to do anything. I may not be able to experience the joys of my loved ones when they accomplish stuff in the future. But then again, those accomplishments would only provide a temporary good feeling to myself and to them also so it is not really a big deal. It is not going to complete them. They will go back to feelings of worry, shame, fear of the future, feelings of insecurity / inferiority and so on depending on their consciousness. If I wanted to spend more time with my loved ones, I would spend more time with them now. It would be the same for most people but they don’t because they are too busy accumulating stuff.
Life After Death
It is probably a good thing. I mean I believe in reincarnation. It is like I will talk to God and ask him to reincarnate me in 2020 as a rich person. It means I can accumulate more lol. I can even become a poor person or homeless person once I become bored a rich person for the millionth time. I can choose other timelines or era also.
Let’s say I’m a Christian. It is probably a good thing. I will most likely go to heaven. Most people will believe that also even people that cause a lot of suffering to themselves, their coworkers and so on, believe that they will go to heaven. At least, I don’t have to deal with people in heaven. I’ll be with angels and spirits and stuff. Away from the insanity of human kind. I don’t have to work and so on. I’d see all my loved ones when they die and we will all be happy in heaven.
I’ve never really thought about going to hell so I wouldn’t know what hell is like. Well if it happens, it happens. I’m sure I’ll be okay. At least, I’m no longer on Earth, dealing with corrupt political leaders, insane people and I don’t have to fulfill the expectations of society also.
You Lack Faith
So if you have a split mind and is really really suffering from thoughts of death then you should think about deciding which one you believe in. You should look at the beliefs you have and think about the good parts of it and bad parts. So if you are Christian and you are suffering from a split mind then you lack faith. You lack faith that your God will save you. You don’t fully believe that you will be happy in the after life. That is how I see it cause I used to be Christian.
We Are All Suffering From A Disease
We are all suffering from a disease that will kill us. It is called mortality. No one can escape it. You will die, your parents will die, your loved ones will die, your children will die and so on. It is an inescapable outcome. People will have to make peace with death whether they like it or not. It is going to come whether you like it or not. It is better to find death before death finds you.
You Can Also Do Your Spiritual Or Loving Practice
If you do your spiritual practice or loving practice, high chance you will see that you are eternal and that the present moment is eternal also. Once you see that death is an illusion, you cannot un-see it. You will no longer be afraid of the illusion.
This is very easy to do which is if you feel bad, you just take a look at your beliefs. You can then ask yourself this question. What would a person absolutely loved by God would think? Since I believe that God loves me unconditionally, maybe I should think that way.