Outside Of You
So if you close your eyes and stretch out your hands then wiggle them all over the place, what do you notice? What you will notice is that there is space. A lot of space. Then your hands will hit something. Maybe a table, a glass, phone, a wall or something. It will hit an object. So from this we can see that there are three things in our outside world. You or the body, space and objects. You or thebody, the empty space and the objects outside of you that are occupying space.
Inside Of You
Inside of you are thoughts. Inside of you are emotions. Sense perceptions. Touch, taste, hearing and so on that gets translated in the brain. Thought patterns. What you will notice are these thought patterns that are really nonsensical. They play over and over and over. Most of the time, they are thoughts about what you need to do in the future or what you did in the past. Some of these thoughts are also fear based thought patterns. Fear of the future, fear of the past repeating itself, and so on. They play over and over like a broken radio or music player that keeps repeating itself. It is like watching the same show over and over and over again. Same fear you had 10 years ago, still repeating itself now. Over and over and over.
You can see this from people also and yourself. They have the same fear for a long time. They create the same behavioral patterns from those fearful thoughts. The same problems. The same fears. The same situations. The same way they hurt themselves and the same way they hurt other people. It plays over and over and over for years through out their lifetime. If you are conscious enough, you can see the same pattern playing over and over in your life. Sometimes I see the same situation and feelings in my life also. I always end up thinking, “How the f**** did I create this crap again. LOL”
Thoughts Of Happiness
The ego or the unconscious thought pattern, projects its happiness through the objects outside of you. Once I get this girl, I will be happy. Once I become rich then I will be happy. Once I get this promotion then I will be happy. Once I create this amazing company then I will be happy. Once I finish college and get a high paying job then I will be happy. Once everything in my life is orderly, then I will be complete, then I will be happy. Once I get this car then I will be happy. Once I get this house then I will be happy. So on and so forth.
The ego projects its happiness outside of you. The ego needs to accumulate objects that are outside. It is the way it interprets happiness. In the future, once I pay off these bills, get a lover, get a house, and when everything is good then I will be happy. I will be very happy in the future and I only need to work hard and sacrifice myself. In the future, I will be very happy. It does not matter what the object is. It could be a person, a title like CEO, Doctor, Master’s degree, material things like a house, vacation, trips to exotic places, and so on. The ego says that once you get these things or these objects then you will be happy. These objects can save you from your unhappiness. These idols of happiness that you worship because you think these idols can save you from your unhappiness which cannot happen.
Fleeting Moments Of Happiness
The moment you get these objects, there is this sense of accomplishment, sense of high, sense of happiness and so on. It is like a movie. When the underdog finally becomes the champion or when two people in a romantic movie falls in love with each other and so on. “Finally!!! I made it!!!”. “Finally, I got the girl or I got house, or I got the promotion or I am rich”. “Finally!! I got the object I want and I can be happy.” “Finally, I defeated the boss. I am now at the top of the world!!”
What you can tell is that these achievements and highs or emotions from these achievements vanish over time. The highs are very fleeting. It is like that trophy that I mentioned before. The trophy gives this amazing feeling that you achieved something but the trophy does not give the same feeling anymore as time passes by. One day the trophy became useless and you no longer get anything from it. You get the house or become rich. You felt good. You felt happy and then it starts to disappear. Most people react the same way. “I need more.” I need more money, I need more houses, I need more. When I get more, I will surely complete myself become happy.” This is the solution people come up with.
Once you get the girl, you realize, you were happy, then you realize you got more problems. You need a house, a good job, and so on. I need more to become happy. I need more, once I get more, I will surely be happy. It is the same with any object. You can become the CEO of a company, then you will want more to complete yourself. You will create more companies, try to get more power, go into politics, and so on to make more money.
A poor man would think he needs to become rich to be happy. A rich man thinks he needs to have power to be happy. A powerful man thinks he needs to be a king to be happy. A king thinks he needs to become a God to be happy. It never ends. It is the nature of the ego to be in the “lack mentality”. I lack this object, I lack this title, I lack this power, and so on. How can I be happy when I lack this thing. I need to get it to be happy. Once you get it, you realized, it does not complete you. The emotion fades and you are back to the same place you used to be. So you need more to get the same feeling or hope to get a better feeling.
The Other Side Of The Mountain
When you think of a mountain, it is like a triangle. Once you are at the top, you are at the top of the world. Once you get at the top, you get what you want. Once you are at the top, the other side is downhill. One side is uphill and other side is downhill. One side is positive, the other side is negative. This is what life is. No matter where you are, there will always be limitations and the negative side. You may become famous and a rich musician, then you realize you cannot go to a supermarket anymore without getting mauled by people trying to take a selfie with you. You cannot go to the park and so on without bodyguards. You cannot even spend time with your kids, friends or family while outside. No matter where you are, there will always going to be that other side that will be in the negative. Having idols of happiness or objects that will ultimately fulfill you is kind of stupid. Because nothing outside of you can fulfill you or complete you. They are just objects. Mental concepts inside your head.
Mental concepts inside your head. They do not exist anywhere else. “Once you get this object, then I will be happy.” This is all in your head. An illusion created by the mind. It is just an idea or a concept. It is not real or true. The sooner you realize that, you stop having idols of happiness. There is no such thing because there will always going to be the negative side that will take away some sort of freedom or create limitations in your life. You cannot get away from that. It is always there.
Life Is Not Meant To Make You Happy
Life is not meant to make you happy, it is meant to challenge you. It is because challenges allow you to grow. If you expect life to make you happy, you will be disappointed. This is sadly what happens to most people. This can cause a lot of pain for yourself and others also. “I am trying to be rich so that I can be happy or fulfill myself but these damn environmentalists are freaking stupid. It is just a rock.” “I am trying to be happy by getting this girl but she is being stupid. Why can’t she see that she is taking my happiness hostage. She is such a slut and an idiot.” “I am trying to be happy by getting this girl but she does not like me. There must be something wrong with me. I am not good enough. I am such a loser. I will never be happy now.” ” I need to get my Masters Degree but I cannot afford the school. The government is so unfair. I’m never going to be happy now.”
You will end up viewing everyone including yourself as an obstacle towards your happiness. You will end up attacking yourself or attacking others. The ego has to do that. The ego has to attack others to make itself feel superior. It is the only way, the ego can feel good or inflate itself. It needs to either attack yourself, or another person or the situation.
The Opposite Of “More”
The opposite of more is less. The ego wants more objects because it is insecure. It finds security with objects that it attaches itself onto. I am rich. I am this rich guy with a car, a house, company and so on. What if the person is going to lose the car, or the house or the company. It creates tremendous amount of pain. You no longer have the title of the rich guy. The ego does not like that. You have to save your company. You would sell one of your children or sacrifice them, do arrange marriages, and so on. The things people do to save their company is crazy. Even when people are about to die, they care more about the company. Even if they die, they need the company to survive. Go to politics, bribe people, and so on. It is the same for any material things. When you are about to lose your house or car, it can create tremendous amounts of pain. Even if you have two cars and you can no longer pay for one of them, it can cause a lot of pain. It is because the ego cannot handle less. It does not know what to do with “less”. It is the opposite of what it wants.
It could be losing your job also. The ego cannot handle that. Less money. No more money to take vacations, eat good food, pay for a house, or pay for a decent apartment. Ever seen marvel’s Dr. Strange, the movie. Dr. Strange is this amazing surgeon. He is like the best of the best. He was gifted with amazing talents and amazing hands. One day, he lost the hands, and he can no longer be a surgeon. This caused him tremendous amounts of pain. He does not know who he is anymore. He has this title in his mind as a surgeon. If he is not a surgeon or doctor then who is he? He no longer has an identity. This caused him severe amounts of pain.
It is the same in real life. People who lose their jobs commit suicide. I think in Japan, people work for 20 years on a job. When the company went under or disappeared, they lost their jobs. They no longer know who they are so they commited suicide. They no longer have an identity or title. They lose that object or title. Anytime the ego loses an object, it suffers greatly. It is the opposite of what it wants. The opposite of “more”. It causes so much pain that people contemplate committing suicide for it. How are you going to be happy when you don’t have a job? How are you going to get more? You are going to get less. Things and objects are going to be taken from you. How are you going to be happy when you don’t have a job when you can no longer get the girl which is object that is supposed to give you everlasting happiness. How are you going to be happy when you no longer have a job to get the house that will complete you or give you everlasting joy. You may even lose the house that you currently have or girl that you currently have or some object outside of you that you will end up losing.
The Place You Really Hate Is The Only Place You Can Be Complete
I was going to hike for 8 miles on a weekday. Unfortunately, on a weekday, to get out of Manhattan, I have get through traffic all the time. There was an accident, I was stuck in one place for 30 minutes. I was really really getting annoyed. My mind is cursing all the other cars. My mind is like, “Freaking stupid people, learn to drive. OMG, why does this happen all the time to me. Why am I always in traffic. This is horrible!!! I need to get out of here. I need to be hiking, that is where I will be happy.” I look at the traffic, the cars, other people and situation as obstacles towards my happiness. In my mind, all of these were obstacles and preventing me from being happy.
What is so bad with sitting, with air conditioner, and good music for 30 minutes or more? There is really nothing wrong it. It should be a pleasant experience. If I was hiking that moment, I will be under the hot sun, walking for 8 miles, and a chance insects would be buzzing around me. When I think about it, the condition inside the car is like paradise. The ego or unconscious mind pattern cannot comprehend that. The unconscious mind pattern or ego states, happiness can only be found in the future, it cannot be found in the present moment.
“I need to be rich to be happy. I need to do this, and do that so that in the future I can have this object, then I will be happy. The future looks good. I need to get to this place in the future then I will be happy. How about right now? Now, is not good. Now is terrible. I need to get rid of right now. Now is an obstacle towards my happiness. I need to get rid of “right now” as fast as possible so that “future me” can become very happy.”
The ego views the present moment as an obstacle, an enemy to your happiness, the only place that you really hate is here and now. The place you are so unhappy, the place you want to get away from, you want to get to the future as fast as possible where your object or idol of happiness resides. The ego is crazy. If you look at these thought patterns. It is crazy. Majority of people have it. I had it. I may still have it now lol.
The Present Moment
The present moment is the place where you are already complete. Right now, you have everything you need to survive. In the present moment, you realize that you can create your own emotions like gratefulness instead of lack or unhappiness. In the present moment, you are breathing, you are alive, and you have a lot of things going on for you. In the present moment, there is no such thing as lack because you have everything you need right now. You can even create your own emotions.
In the present moment, you realize that you are complete. The one place that you hate, did not want to look, is the one place where you can be complete. It is the place where you have everything and it is the place that you really hate. The ego cannot survive in the present moment. It needs to project in the future. It needs to accumulate objects to be happy. But in the present moment, you will realize that you are already complete. Nothing or no objects outside of you can ever make you happy or fulfill yourself because you create your own emotions. Your own emotions happen inside of you and not outside.
How can objects outside of you can ever complete you? They are objects outside of you!!! OUTSIDE OF YOU!!! No matter how much you say that this object is me, I am this object, and so on. They are always going to be outside of you. Objects outside of you are really just concepts and ideas preconditioned by your environment.
If you are ever unhappy in this life, you are just being ungrateful. This is what you will realize.
Love Is The Only Thing That Can Complete You
All the emotions that are born from love are the only things that can complete you. You really only have two choices in life: Either love or fear. Lack comes from fear. This is how we view the objects outside of us which is through fear. Look at all the objects and all the mental concepts that you have. You place the word “lack” on it. I lack a car, I lack a house, I lack a girl, I lack an education, I lack money, I lack this and that.
Love does not view it like that. I am grateful I am alive. I am grateful I have this small apartment. I am grateful I can take the subway. I am grateful I am single. I am grateful I have enough to survive. I am grateful for my life. I am grateful for this and that. Love does not know lack. It does not know fear of the future. Love lives in the present moment where there is abundance everywhere.
The Other Dimension Of Happiness
One dimension of happiness is action. For me, it is like writing, hiking, reading and so on. One dimension is doing things you love. Doing things that make you happy. It could be watching tv, going on a vacation, going on a date, and stuff. You can be happy with superiority also. This is how the ego becomes happy. Doing things that make you feel superior or make you feel superior to others. Watching shonen anime, playing video games, insulting people, telling people how you are right, they are wrong, how your way of life is the correct one and others are stupid, and so on. The ego’s way is not really sustainable because you need others to keep inflating yourself or keep feeling superior. You need to keep watching shonen anime everyday, playing video games everyday, making others become wrong, and so on to get that high because it will turn into inferiority rather quickly. It needs to judge people, situations, and things always to inflate itself.
Once you practiced enough gratefulness everyday, you will realize there is another dimension of happiness. It is the dimension of BEING. Just being happy. Just being grateful for the things you have. Being happy for the things you have. Being happy for the food you eat. Being happy for the life you lived. Being happy for the people around you. Just being happy to be alive. Being happy for being happy. Just being happy is so sustainable. You don’t need anything outside of you to “BEING HAPPY”. You don’t need to make others feel wrong, dumb, stupid or make yourself feel superior to be in this dimension.
When you realize this dimension inside of you, then you will realize more that you are complete. Love that comes from action is pretty sustainable but BEING love is the most sustainable thing ever. You can be in prison and be happy. You will be like, “so the government gives me food, shelter, and I can meditate all day. I don’t have to deal with unconscious, angry, and hateful people. Omg!! This is the best place ever.”
Being Content
Being content does not mean inaction. People confuse this also. A lot of studies and philosophers have already experimented on this. You can really look at contentment in a lot of ways. But for me, being content is not about inaction. One of the dimensions of happiness is action. This means doing things you love. Contentment for me means that you are grateful for what you have. You are happy and grateful for your life no matter what happened or how many terrible things you experienced. Contentment to me means being grateful. When you are grateful and happy for what it is right now, then everything or every object added on to you will bring you more happiness. Every object taken away from you will also bring you more happiness. This could mean that you have less money, less material objects, people in your life may leave you or die, and so on. Contentment means you will be happy with more, less or staying the same way.
The ego cannot comprehend that. It is because the ego needs to have more. It is always insecure and knows only lack.
Why You Need More Time
It is also why you fear death so much. I need more time to get this object. I need more time to finish my company. I need more time to experience this. I need more time to experience or travel to this place. I need more time to become amazing. I need more time to accomplish stuff. I need more time to do the things I want before I die. When you realize that you are already complete, and that you really do not need these objects, then you really do not need anymore time at all to accomplish anything. What for? You already found completion. Nothing left to do but enjoy every moment of your life.
Edit:
It is like when you found that there is only one moment which is the present moment, and to be happy or complete means to be happy in this one moment. If you feel good or grateful or an easy loving emotion, then there’s really nothing more that you need to complete you. BEING happy does not require action but a change of thinking. Since time is not real, you just need to be happy in this one moment or the present moment.
This is so hard to explain lol.