I’ll attempt to explain peace. I couldn’t achieve peace actually. People and situations can still push me out of peace and happiness. I know gratefulness which is easy for me. However, in order for me to get to gratefulness, I had to learn certain things about being peaceful. I’ll attempt to explain this in 3 articles. So the first one is the path of materialism.
First, lets look at 3 concepts so that everything is easier to explain. Also, when I write, I always use “you” but I should really use “I” or “me”.
The Trophy That Loses Its Value
So you got a trophy for something you did in some type of contest. Maybe it is basketball, tennis, golf, baseball, martial arts and so on. Whenever you look at it, it gives you a high, a sense of pride, a sense of how amazing you are and so on. You put it in display, you put glass to protect it and lights to make it shine. You look at it everyday, and you get a good feeling. You get a high. Then you notice something. It starts to lose its value. The high that you get is no longer the same. As time goes on, you don’t even look at it anymore. You don’t even clean it. It practically does not give you that high anymore. You went to the same contest this year as an audience. You see someone getting the same trophy. But his is better, his trophy is current. It has the year and date. Yours is in the past. Yours is no longer the current one. In that moment, you realize that your trophy has no more value. You threw it away.
Maslows Hierarchy Of Needs
This is basically the path that most Americans are currently on. First, we get food, water, sleep. After that we look to buy a house, car and so on. We look for love, friends and relationships next. We then seek things that make us feel accomplished. The last one is that we realized our full potential.
Basically, this path relies heavily on the objects that we acquire. The more material things and objects that we acquire, the happier we get. There is nothing wrong with acquiring material things and having ambitions. However, we tend to think that this will give us forever bliss, happiness, fulfillment and everlasting joy which cannot happen.
Your Self Image
When you look at a mirror, what do you see? You see yourself. You see your body and you create an identity based on what you see and what you are thinking about yourself. When you go outside, you see other people. They also have an identity. This is where you start to compare your identity with other people. Maybe you are more good looking, smarter, more intelligent, faster, more athletic or the opposite. Maybe you are dumber, not as good looking, not confident. Maybe you have more money, have a big house and so on. You put all of these into your identity. This is who I am. I am smart, I am good looking, I can sing, I have a lot of money and so on.
The Journey Of Your Life In The USA
I’m going to sacrifice a few years of my life to get something and this something will give me lots of joy and will make me happy forever.
I Got My First Car!!!!
Let’s say that you are thinking that you will just sacrifice 2 years of your life and work really hard. You’ll work 2 jobs and you’ll get your car and everything will be a lot better or your life will be a lot better. So you got your first car and it is beautiful. You look at the mirror, and you are no longer just a body or mind. You have an object as well to add to your image. You have a car.
You take a selfie, share it to everyone in instagram. Everyone praised you. Everyone said that it is beautiful. You can feel your ego inflating itself with all the praises. You are thinking that everyone loves your car, and everyone wants to go ride in it because it is so beautiful. Your ego becomes so big. You play these thoughts over and over for as long as you can get that high feeling.
However, as time goes by, the car got a few dents and scratches. It is still beautiful to other people but the feeling that you felt when you first got the car was no longer there. You hardly wash the car now, you don’t take care of it as much as before, and the feeling that it is so beautiful disappeared or slowly disappearing. What’s worst is that your neighbor got a brand new car and yours was an old one. Your car is now outdated. Just like the trophy that loses its value.
There are still benefits to the car and lets you get to work earlier but now you have additional responsibilities. You have to pay insurance every month now. You have to deal with crazy drivers that make you mad. If you make a mistake, you get a ticket for $300. Finding parking can really piss you off. So you always thought that this car will always make you happy because it is beautiful and useful but that is just not the case. It has its ups and downs.
I’m Going On A Vacation
You saw these people in Instagram and they are very happy when they went to this place like Bahamas or Bali. You are thinking that you are going to sacrifice 3 months of your life to get enough money to go to this place. You will always have this experience and it will always make you happy.
So you got the money, went on vacation and you were so happy. You took so many pictures and posted them in Instagram as well. Everyone you know were so envious and wanted to go there with you. This made you happy. You looked at the mirror and you add this experience to your identity. You are no longer just a body/mind, you also have this amazing experience. You can feel your ego inflating. It is giving you that high and you feel so good.
As time passes by, you looked at the pictures in Instagram and you no longer get the same high as before. Your ego no longer inflates like it did in the beginning. Your memories of this place started to fade and your happy thoughts started to fade just like the trophy I discussed before.
You saw this really expensive computer. You thought that why did you go on vacation? You could have just bought a computer and it would have lasted or would have been more useful to you for years. Instead you wasted so much money on this place. You could have done so many other things with that money. You start to regret everything. You thought this experience would always make you happy but it didn’t. You even started regretting going there.
I’m Going To Get A Lover
I’m going to get a lover and this person will always make me happy and give me that happily ever after story. Ok, everyone knows this so just watch the youtube video.
This person vowed and promises to always make me happy. How come I am no longer happy? This person is no longer doing what he or she promises. This person vowed but he/she is just lying. This person must have broke as time passed by. I need to get another one that will make me happy.
But let’s say it works out. You found a lover and this person did his/her best to make you happy. There will always be ups and downs. When you were single, you had time to go out with friends, play video games, play sports, and so on. Now your time is spent cleaning the house, making money, and taking care of your family. You may have time for friends, video games and so on but not as much as it used to be. You can only have sex with one girl/guy for the rest of your life also.
There are benefits to having a good lover but I’m just saying it is not going to give you that ultimate satisfaction or happiness that you were searching for. There will be that period of love bubble and then it dies down as well.
I’m Going To Make My Own Company And Be Rich
Let’s fast forward cause this article is getting very long. So you got your company and you are now a billionaire. Your ego is inflating because you have millions of employees and you are one of the richest people on Earth. Magazines all over the world are praising your name and your company. Just thinking about this makes you feel good and you can feel your ego inflating. “I did this, I’m so amazing”.
If we look at all the successful billionaires like Marc Cuban, Marc Zuckerberg and so on, all they do is work. They work 16-18 hours a day. Can you imagine working 16-18 hours a day? That is all they do. They don’t play video games, they don’t hang out, don’t go to the theatres and so on. Even when they are on vacation, they think about work. They deal with company failures, and annoying employees all the time. Do you want to work all your life? The answer to that is most likely “no”. There are benefits to becoming rich and a billionaire but there are downsides to it as well. There are ups and downs no matter where you are.
Everyone Will Know My Name
Every guy has this dream of being amazing and everyone recognizing them. “Everyone will remember me as the greatest or something like that”. Anyway, I saw this news about this guy in prison. He was so proud he injured someone. He said that he is a real gangster. “I’m a gangster”. All my crew and people I know respects me. He is so proud of it.
It is really the same as Instagram or the things that I said before. When he looks at the mirror, he thinks that he did something amazing and that everyone is praising him. You can feel the ego inflating itself. “I’m so cool or awesome”.
While the guy in prison is getting aroused with the idea that everyone respects him, he doesn’t realize where this is all happening. All of this is only happening in his head. He is playing this thought over and over in his head. “Everyone knows me and respects me!!!” This is only happening in his head. Maybe it is true that his crew or people he knows respects him but they don’t think about him anymore. They have their own lives and problems that they think about. However, the guy in prison is thinking that everyone is always thinking of him and respects him. He inflates his ego by doing this and he is aroused by this. We can even see that this is some sort of masturbation but the person gets the high through inflating his own ego.
If We Look At The Famous People
If we look at the famous people, they don’t really care anymore. If we look at movie stars, basketball players, UFC fighters and so on, they don’t really say that “everyone respects me, or everyone knows my name”. They are still trying to stay relevant because they all still have an ego but they no longer get aroused at people knowing their name. That feeling faded away.
Creating A Legacy
Most men want to have a legacy that people will remember them by. It is like the same thing as wanting for people to remember their name. This desire is to stay relevant even after you are dead. The truth is that no one cares anymore once you are dead. The next generation will not care at all. For example, do you know who created penicillin? This is the drug that cured so many people and prevented so much death. It paved the way to western medicine and pharmaceutical companies. Do we know his name? Most of us don’t know and don’t care. It is the same thing, many years from now, no one is going to care about who you are when you are dead even if you did something amazing.
Why would you care also? You are dead? It is not like you can feel anything anymore. You can’t inflate your ego or feel good that people still know your name. You are dead. How can you care?
I Want To Become A Superhero Or Learn Magic
Every guy had a dream of becoming a superhero or learning magic. So let’s say you learned to shoot fireballs out of your hands. You created youtube videos out of it and everyone was envious of you. Everyone wanted to do it. You can feel your ego inflating again. “I’m so amazing. I can shoot fireballs.” But as time passes by, people no longer cared. Seen it, it looked cool but it is the same thing over and over again. So you tried to create bigger and better fireballs just to stay relevant but people just no longer cared. The feeling that you are awesome was slowly disappearing as well. It was no longer the same as it was in the beginning. Before you know it, some other people figured out how to shoot fireballs, lightning and can fly. You became obsolete. This identity that you had where you were unique and awesome is gone. You felt sad and no longer know who you are. You were the guy that shoots fireballs but now people could do it easily.
You just want that praise from people. You just want to be relevant so that your ego will inflate. You want to keep inflating your ego but the feeling decays and disappears in time.
No Matter Where You Are
No matter where you are, there will always be ups and downs. There will be good things about your situation and bad things about it. It is never going to be ups or it is never going to always make you happy. This is the nature of all objects that you try to accumulate to improve your identity. You may get an object like car, house, new computer, more beauty, more muscles and so on but they will never give you that ever lasting happiness that you were looking for. The feelings are very temporary.
Every Object Is Just A Distraction
When you were a child, you get a toy, and this toy provided you with lots of joy. But you grew out of it and want other toys. It is the same thing with all the objects you try to add to your identity. They are all just toys and distractions. You are trying to fill this emptiness or incompleteness that you feel with material things but they can only do it temporarily.
What is worst is that when the good feelings are gone, all that is left is attachment. You get attached to a toy that barely gives you any type of satisfaction. When the toy disappears or about to disappear, this brings about a lot of pain. Even if you no longer need the object or it is no longer useful, you got attached to it.
It Is All In Your Head
Whenever the ego inflates itself, it is all happening in your head. It only happens in your head. Anyone can do it. You don’t need to be amazing or very successful to inflate your ego. People can inflate their ego through misery as well. “I’m the most miserable person.” “You think you know pain, you have never walked in my shoes.” “When I was young, I had to walk 3 miles everyday to get to school, you kids got it easy these days.”
All of these are just happening in people’s heads. It plays over and over, giving them a sense of satisfaction temporarily. They have to stroke their ego some other way after a while.
For example, you and your friends are talking about this great pizza place. You can just slip it in the conversation to boost your ego. “This pizza place is so good but you know, I just got this certificate for having 180+ IQ.”
Or maybe you were good at spelling or English or some other language. “yeah this pizza place is good and the atmosphere is very convivial. By the way I just won 500 dollars from this spelling bee contest.”
Just put it in there and get praised hahahaha. The ego is very insecure, if it is not inflating itself, it goes to inferiority or have inferiority complex. So it has to inflate itself always.
Having Ambitions Is Good
Having ambitions is good. I applaud people for wanting to have more money. I’m trying to do the same thing. Nothing wrong with inflating your ego once in a while as well. I’m just saying that this eternal everlasting happiness or that nothing ever goes wrong once you get the money or these objects, don’t exist. There will always be ups and downs. The heaven that you are seeking cannot be found by accumulating objects in this world. All the objects can give is temporary happiness and that happiness is very fleeting.
Next Article Will Be About Silence, And Third Will Be About Emotions