Ever heard of the story of the fox spirit that lived on a mountain?
Around 1000 years ago, before cell phones, computers and modern technology, there was this immortal and powerful fox spirit that lived on a mountain. Every decade he would go down the mountain, transform himself into a man and enjoy the world of humanity. He would become a rich, powerful and a handsome man that can get anything he wanted. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful girl. He found her beautiful beyond anything he has ever seen. But the girl rejected him because the girl was madly in love with another guy. They were both very happy being with each other. The fox spirit tried and tried to get the girl to fall for him but he kept getting rejected. Out of his anger and frustration, he separated the girl and the boy to different places, and to never meet again.
The other spirits learned of this and decided to teach the fox spirit a lesson. They took away all of his powers, his immortality and transformed him into a man. The only way to get them back is to reunite the girl and boy together or else the fox spirit would die of old age.
In fear of dying, he looked vigorously for the two lovers. After a few years, he managed to tracked down the girl and boy together. All he had to do was give the boy the address of the girl. All he had to do was tell the guy that the woman he loves is in this house. But at the last minute he didn’t do it.
After many years had passed by, the fox spirit stood at the edge of a mountain while knowing that he was about to die of old age. The other spirits asked him, “why?” The fox spirit replied, “I wanted her, and I didn’t want anyone else to have her, why should I apologize for going for the things I want? This is who I am, I cannot change who I am. I cannot apologize for who I am.” Then the fox spirit died.
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I am not a good man nor a nice person, this I know of. I see what I want, I go for what I want, nothing else matters. Even if the world sees me as a villain, I cannot change who I am. I cannot apologize for who I am. But I also know that I do not deserve good things to come to me nor do I deserve to live happily ever after.