Writings

I didn’t see the Trump interview

I didn’t see the Trump interview but I imagined it would be something like this. 

“Why didn’t they just, like, take the Eagles into Mordor?”

“Joe, it wouldn’t work. Wouldn’t work. Sauron has the NAZGUL.”

“But wait wait wait – they couldn’t just fly around them?”

“Have you seen the Nazgul, Joe? Huge. They were unbelievable. You know, too, if an Eagle had the One Ring – bam. Now you have a Dark Lord Eagle. Complete and total disaster.”

Or something like this:

“So, like, why didn’t Frodo just keep the Ring and become, you know, the King of Middle-earth?”

“Joe, terrible idea. Absolutely terrible. He would’ve turned evil instantly. You don’t just mess with the Ring.”

“But what if he just used it, like, a little bit? Just to take down Sauron?”

“Joe, once you put that Ring on, there’s no ‘a little bit.’ It’s all or nothing. You wear it, bam—he’s a mini Sauron. You get Hobbit Dark Lord, Mordor 2.0. Not good.”

“What about Gollum, though? He wore it for years!”

“And look what happened! Guy lives in a cave, talks to himself, no friends. Total disaster. You really want that for Frodo?”